


unwire the good

by celaenos



Category: DC Extended Universe, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Motherhood, Post-Season/Series 03, gratuitous mentions of playing dungeons and dragons, mentions of Lena/James
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-16 23:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15448590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celaenos/pseuds/celaenos
Summary: “I can look into some more information on foster care. If you want.”It’s the third time that she’s offered help in the last month and a half, and it sounds just as sincere as the other times. She’s not pestering. She’s just… offering. Suddenly, Alex doesn’t know why she’s been brushing Lena off. The Luthor thing hasn’t been an issue for over a year, now. Alex saw firsthand how devoted a friend Lena can be with Sam. And, it’s not as if Alex’s life is full of friends right now, she’s got plenty of room.(Or, Kara goes to Argo City, Alex gives adoption a real try, and accidentally falls in love with Lena Luthor during the process.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SO, alex panic confessed to lena in the season three finale that she wants to adopt and my heart went, _huh, well you two have never really talked to each other before, but you SHOULD do that. also, lena should help you, and then maybe you two should put your mouths together, also._
> 
> so... that's happening. 
> 
> this does not really follow the events that happened in the season three finale, however. instead, kara peaced out to argo city/new krypton to live with her mom for a while bc i'm STILL PRESSED THAT RELATIONSHIP WASN'T GIVEN MUCH WEIGHT. j'onn still goes on his road trip. i got no idea what the show is doing with sam and ruby, but assume they are summarily dismissed in a similar fashion as i have done here, bc it's easier to make alex lonely with less people around. they're playing dnd bc i'm currently obsessed with all things dnd. so, either you're welcome or i'm sorry. 
> 
> i don't know anything about the legality of adoption or foster care. and it's summer and i've got a lot of other things that i want to write, and i don't want to do research. so. suspend your disbelief please yall, i WILL be wrong, i'm sure of it, bc all i have is what pop culture tells me in my brian. apologies.

Kara leaves on a Tuesday.

Alex plasters a smile onto her face, hugs her sister fiercely, gives Mon-El the stink eye, and watches Kara slip her hand into Alura’s as they walk onto the ship. She looks back once. Tears in her eyes, but, she’s smiling. So, Alex smiles back until Kara can’t see her anymore. Agents are milling about around her and Winn is shuffling uncomfortably in the corner, tears flowing freely, unabashed. Alex feels like her skin is crawling, so, she turns on her heel, and flees.

The clicking sound of heels on linoleum follows her.

“Alex?” Lena calls out, unsure.

“What?” she asks, much harsher than she means. Alex sucks in a breath, grits her teeth, clenches her fists and wills herself not to cry.

“I just wanted to check…” Lena’s voice trails off and Alex feels this strange urge to apologize. For what, she has no idea. Having emotions? “You and Supergirl seemed particularly close,” Lena says this like it’s a loaded thing and Alex does _not_ have the energy to add onto a lie for her sister right now, so she pulls herself together.

“I’m fine,” she says, probably sounding anything but. Kudos to Luthor, her eyes track Alex up and down, and she swallows whatever words were about to come out of her mouth.

“Okay,” she says. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Alex nods, with no intention of ever doing so at all.

…

…

J’onn leaves on a Friday.

Alex sits there trying not to shake as he tells her that he’s proud, prouder than he could ever imagine. He gives her a promotion and a hug, promises her that he’s not leaving forever, that he’ll call and check in—swears it.

He hugs her tight and Alex can feel him shaking, just a bit. His father is gone. Her sister is gone. Different kind of gone, but, the end result is still kind of the same. He squeezes her once more, then kisses her temple. She catches a tear slip out of one eye before he can swipe at it. Her own are stinging with the tears that she is trying to hold back. Damn, they sure are a pair.

…

…

Sam and Ruby leave on a Sunday.

At this point, Alex just starts laughing. It’s deeply disturbing and Sam, Ruby, and Lena all look at her like maybe she’s got eight heads growing out of the side of her body, but she seems completely unable to do anything about it.

“I’m sorry,” she waves her hand back and forth when Sam steps towards her. “No, I’m not — I’m just — I’m sorry.”

“I just think a change of pace might be good for us,” Sam says, her voice low. “Plus, my mom’s old house needs… well, I either need to sell it or live there,” Sam laughs, a crack in her voice that has Alex quickly reaching out and grabbing her hand, squeezing tight.

“I think that sounds like a good plan,” Alex tells her, because it does. It just leaves Alex with more people in her life who are leaving. It’s selfish to ask Sam to stay just because Kara and J’onn already left too.

“You’re going to come visit, right?” Ruby asks, sliding up and wrapping herself around Alex’s middle.

“Definitely,” Alex smiles. When she looks up, Lena’s eyeing her, concern in the crook of her eyebrows that’s never been there on Alex’s behalf before. Alex swallows thickly, hugs Ruby tighter, and then cracks her smile as wide as it will go. She stuffs her mouth with pasta as Ruby chatters away about the farmhouse, asking about chickens and pigs as Sam suddenly looks a bit nauseous.

When the evening ends, Alex hugs Sam and Ruby both tightly once more, then slips out into the summer night, Lena half a step behind her.

“Both of my friends left in the span of a week,” Lena says. Alex isn’t wholly sure if she is talking to her, or to herself. “Have you heard from Kara?” Lena asks, making it clearer. The question has that loaded tone to it again. Alex presses her lips together, remembering the lie that Kara spouted to cover her absence—she’s on an extended apprenticeship with Cat Grant. Possibly spotty cell service. On account of the yurt. She’s honing her journalistic skills, the ones that she has been largely ignoring for the last few months. It’s not the worst lie in the world, but it does coincide so perfectly with Supergirl’s disappearance back to New Krypton, or Argo City, whatever it’s called, and Alex is _tired._

“No,” she answers. “Just… that she got there safely.”

“How about Supergirl?”

“Haven’t heard from her,” Alex says, tugging her coat closed even though it’s _way_ too hot to be wearing one tonight. Lena says nothing in response, just… waits Alex out. Alex shuffles awkwardly underneath her gaze, kicking her boots against the curb. “You?”

Lena snorts. “Supergirl and I weren’t exactly on the friendliest of terms when she left.”

“Right… I forgot.”

Lena’s right eyebrow ticks upwards. It conveys amusement and skepticism all in one, and it does very annoying things to Alex’s stomach. God, she’s such goddamn a mess right now.

“Any updates on the adoption front?” she asks, nearly bowling Alex over.

“Sorry?” she asks, until she remembers her near hysterical confession to _Lena Luthor,_ of all people, in the middle of the DEO before Kara left. Mess doesn’t even begin to cover it. This is possibly the second one-on-one conversation that she’s ever had with the woman that doesn’t involve Sam or Ruby’s wellbeing.

“I only… if I can help, please let me know,” Lena says. Alex looks her dead in the eye. She sounds sincere. Alex is starting to get why Kara and Sam both like her so much.

“Thanks,” says Alex, she tugs at her coat, dying from the humidity. Lena holds her gaze until Alex breaks it, ripping her coat off and starting down the sidewalk. “Have a good night Luthor!”

…

…

Kara has been gone for two weeks.

Alex goes to work, yells at people and comes home by five almost every day. Which is… not great, all things considered. She comes home, cooks herself a shitty meal, gets drunk, and looks at the adoption process. Over and over.

She’s not sleeping all that well.

After a night tossing and turning, Alex flops out of bed at four, thoroughly giving up and yanking on a t-shirt and some leggings. She runs until her lungs scream, jumps into the shower, and goes to work.

With Kara gone, the DEO has considerably more work on their hands, but also… there are fewer targets focusing on National City. It’s strange not to be going out in the field. It’s stranger still that without Kara out there, the desire to do so seems to have nearly all but disappeared. She _likes_ being the director. She gets to see the whole problem, and everyone is ready to jump at her say so—they’re sort of kicking ass.

“We’re kicking ass!” Winn cheers, holding his palm up for a high five.

Alex glares at him and says nothing until he puts his hand down, slow. He whirls his chair around, frowning at her.

She should have known somehow, that that would mean he would show up at her apartment later that night, a box of pizza in his hands.

“Alexxxx,” he sings. “Hello. I come bearing pizza.”

“I already ate,” she says, trying to push the door shut. Winn has quickened his reflexes in his time working at the DEO and he slips his foot in the door.

“Alex,” he says, voice serious in a way that Alex knows she is about to hate. “Kara told me not to let you barricade yourself in your apartment alone.”

Alex drops her head against the door-frame and sighs, loudly. She weighs the pros and cons of just shoving him out and closing the door, but he can be nearly as relentless as Kara when he wants to, and truth be told, she’s sick of feeling miserable by herself.

She pushes the door open and walks inside. Winn closes it behind him and quickly begins digging out the pizza. “So, how was your day?”

“You were there, dumbass.”

“Right, well…” he looks lost and Alex grabs a slice of pizza, biting it aggressively as she stares him down. “Wanna come help me with Guardian duty in an hour?”

Alex pauses. “Pizza to go,” she decides and grabs her gun.

“Oh, wait—” Winn falls off the couch.

…

…

Lena is here. Which Alex did _not_ expect.

It trips her up in a very annoying way, as does the way that James takes one look at Alex, makes a noise at the back of his throat that sounds like distress, and promptly pulls his hands away from Lena’s sides, where they had been trailing slowly. Lena smiles at Alex, if a bit sheepishly at being caught groping her boyfriend unexpectedly.

“She’s gonna help tonight,” Winn announces, climbing into the van without so much as a teasing smirk. Clearly, he’s used to walking in on this display. Which means that Lena has been here before. Enough for Winn to be used to her presence.

That surprises Alex more than anything.

“Do you want a mask?” Winn asks, after typing away at something.

“Me?”

“No, _Lena,”_ Winn rolls his eyes. Lena flicks at his shoulder, but spins around and begins typing away at the computer beside him.

 _God, that’s weird,_ Alex thinks. Kara really has only been gone for two weeks. Was this happening before that, and no one said anything?

“Alex?” Winn prompts. “Mask, yes or no?”

“I can handle myself—” James begins to protest. Winn kicks him, then yelps in pain as his toes hit the hard surface.

“I thought the world knew about you,” Alex says, glaring at James a bit too harshly. She does actually like the guy, but everything seems to piss her off lately.

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Um, there isn’t really a _kinda_ to that buddy,” Winn says. “It’s a _definite_ sort of thing.”

“Point _is,”_ James stresses, “they don’t have to know about you, too. Miss Director of a Secret Organization.”

“I mean—” Winn cuts in. “At this point, _is_ it a secret organization? Or is it just another government organization?”

“It’s not a secret,” Lena says, with a snort.

“What kind of mask are you talking about?” Alex asks Winn.

The smile on his face does not bode well.

…

…

It becomes a regular thing without anyone planning for it. Alex goes to work, orders people into stopping crimes and saving the world, comes home, eats like shit, gets a little buzzed, and some nights goes out crime fighting with James and Winn.

At least half of the time, Lena is there too.

It’s the most that Alex has ever hung out with James or Lena for any length of time. And by far the only time she’s ever done so without Kara mooning over the both of them. Which—Alex squelches that thought the minute it pops into her head. Kara moons over a lot of people. Kara _likes_ people.

Alex, not so much.

She and James work well together when they don’t bother talking much. A rhythm develops in a few days or so, and suddenly, he is one of the most dependable field partners that Alex has ever worked with.

It’s nice, and better yet, it’s simple.

Winn is easy. Winn has always been easy. Annoying, but comfortable. Alex loves him probably more than anyone who isn’t Kara, her mom, or J’onn.

(She quickly skips over the name that was formerly on that list, higher up than Winn. It doesn’t matter now. Maggie is gone and that was more Alex’s choice than anything else. She’s got to live with it.)

Lena is the wild card.

On nights that she isn’t there, Alex relaxes into a rhythm with the boys that works like a well-oiled machine. It’s not quite the same as with Kara. They’re working on a much smaller, lower-level stakes. Muggings and assaults—more often human than not. But, it’s still important, and Alex deals with the potential bigger world ending, more-often-than-not-alien-related things during the day. She’s _busy._ Too busy to miss Kara. Or Maggie. Or browse adoption sites.

The boys don’t prod, now that she’s interacting with them and not hold up in her apartment on the regular. She’s drunk a lot less, but she’s not exactly drinking less.

Which, Lena notes.

She does so gently. Or, there’s actually nothing gentle about it, but it’s not confrontational or overly concerned in a way that would make Alex haul off and punch her. Alex knocks back a shot of something at the end of the night and Lena’s eyebrow ticks upwards, her gaze pointedly settled on the empty glass in Alex’s hands. It’s possible that her own reaction gives Lena more pause than anything else. Alex gets defensive and a little mean, and she doesn’t show up to help out for three nights straight.

Also, she avoids calls from her mother and from J’onn.

All in all, it goes very much against Kara’s pleads for her to let herself be happy. It sort of feels like she is doing the direct opposite of that, actually.

It’s just—nobody talks about how _boring_ it is in the middle, once you've ended a relationship; how you have to get up every single day to face your new depressing life, feeling sick to death of yourself. It's all such a fucking cliché. Banal  and  _common_ —a word that grates at Alex, always. Especially for a woman with an alien for a sister, who always has to work that much harder to be seen as exceptional. Alex still cries herself to sleep some nights because, at this point, it has become a habit, instead of it still being that raw. Whirlwind romances don't always ease their way into happy endings—more often than not, in fact, they blow out the same way that they blew in. Maggie has been gone for _months,_ and Alex isn’t even sure that it’s Maggie that she misses, anymore, so much as the way that Alex felt when she was with her.

(The way she was _starting_ to feel when she was around Sam and Ruby, as it turns out. _That_ revelation comes late at night about three weeks after Kara has left. Alex is properly drunk and verging on the edge of horny. She slips her fingers into her underwear and it’s not Maggie’s face that comes to mind, but Sam’s.

She gets herself off spectacularly, but she feels guilt and shame about it instantly.)

It turns out, missing your sister is just as exceptionally boring and mundane in nearly all the same ways that grieving the end of a romance is, and dealing with both is making Alex slowly go out of her mind.

So, she is particularly susceptible to her mother’s request when Alex finally answers her call.

…

…

Midvale is just as boring as National City, only now instead of being confronted with Lena’s occasional loaded gaze Alex is confronted with her mother’s voice and hands, chattering and smoothing without stopping for a breath. Eliza’s hands are in Alex’s hair, and it feels so nice that she closes her eyes and tries to tune out her mother’s questions.

She bites her tongue and does not scream at her mother that she is fine and wants to be left alone, because she is a goddamn grown up and Kara would be mad at her. If she were here.

“Honey?” Eliza prods.

Alex blinks and looks over at her mother, who has clearly been trying to get her attention for a while. _Shit._ “Sorry, what?”

Eliza’s lips pinch into a thin line and Alex drops her fork down onto her plate, waiting for whatever bullshit is about to spew out of her mother’s mouth. Instead of a screaming match, Eliza says nothing, picks up her plate and Alex’s, and goes to do the dishes.

It’s far more terrifying. Their relationship has never been perfect, but it’s always been full of communication. Angry, loud, shitty communication, perhaps, but Eliza doesn’t give the cold shoulder. Eliza doesn’t up and leave a conversation when she clearly has an opinion about something. Eliza prods at Alex until she opens up and they end up crying or hugging or both.

So, naturally, Alex goes and does something dumb.

Eliza does the dishes in silence and then the two of them watch an old movie on the couch and Alex gets ridiculously drunk. The line of her mother’s lips almost disappears by the end of the movie, but, Alex can’t tell if that’s real or something she’s imagining.

“WELL?” she hollers after Eliza still says nothing.

“Alexandra—” And here we go, Alex thinks. She chugs the rest of her wine and does not fall off the couch, but she does drop the bottle. Her mother’s mouth opens and then… closes. “I’m going to bed,” she announces, and then turns and walks away.

_Shit._

Alex—very carefully—climbs up the stairs and gets into the shower. She turns the water on and strips out of her clothes. Jumping under the still cool water, she hisses and hops out of the way of the stream, turning it up hotter as she shivers. When she closes her eyes, she sees her mother's pained face. Kara’s full of happy tears, hand in hand with her mother as she walks away from Alex. Sam and Ruby waving from their car. J’onn, FaceTimeing her from a café in Paris. Lena’s quirked eyebrow. A hysterical giggle emits from her, and Alex clamps a hand over her mouth. Her whole body starts shaking, and this time, it's not from the cold. The water has become scalding, her skin turning pink. She thinks that maybe she should turn the heat down a little, but makes no attempt to do so.

A knock on the door startles her, and that's when Alex realizes that the water has gone cold. Her skin is now pink for a different reason, and she hasn't even washed her hair yet.

“Alex,” her mother’s voice calls, gentle. “Honey—”

Alex bursts into tears. She doesn’t let herself be embarrassed about her mother immediately slipping into the bathroom and turning the water off. Or of the way that she wraps a towel around Alex and very nearly drags her out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Alex sits down on Eliza’s bed, dripping and crying and drunk and the thin line of her mother’s lips has gone away. She’s shuffled into a t-shirt and some underwear and her mother wraps her hair into the towel and then wraps herself around Alex.

She falls asleep like that, her mother’s heartbeat a steady rhythm.

When she wakes up, the towel has shifted off of her head, but some of her hair is still wet. Eliza is half wrapped around her and sound asleep, the sunlight only just beginning to peek through the curtains.

She wonders what sunrises on Krypton look like.

“Probably beautiful,” her mother says, soft, alerting Alex to the fact that she wondered that one out loud. “I miss her too.”

“I’m not…” Alex sighs. “I just wish it wasn’t another goddamn planet.”

Eliza pulls her tighter into her arms, and Alex doesn’t fight it. Instead, she curls closer. “So do I. But it’s not forever. Kara wanted to show Alura some of Earth. She’ll be back.”

“What if she won’t?” Alex whispers.

Eliza tugs at Alex until she rolls over and faces her. She brushes some hair out of her eyes. “She will. Maybe she won’t come back and stay, but she will come back. You can’t just spend your time waiting for that,” she adds, hint of scolding to her tone.

“I know.”

She does not tell her mother about her desire for adoption, or how much she has been drinking lately, but she does tell her how lonely she’s felt. They get out of bed and have coffee and yogurt on the porch, the late July heat already working its way through their clothes. Alex goes for a walk with her mother, then helps her make lunch, and then shoves her bags back into the rental car. She promises to call more and means it.

Alex finds Kara’s music on her phone, and cranks up No Doubt, singing along as she drives back to the airport. A little bit of the weight lifts off of her chest.

…

…

She sort of starts to get her shit together, after that.

Sort of, being the operative word. This mess of a drunk, lonely, reckless human does not make for someone suited to be a mother, and if that is really what she wants—and it is, she keeps having dreams about babies, and she actually _cried_ when one smiled at her in a shop a day ago—she has got to start making some fucking changes.

The booze goes first, because, in a way, that’s the easiest thing to deal with. Whenever she feels like getting sad and drunk, she learns a new thing about foster care, or adoption. Or, she goes for a run. Or calls J’onn. Or her mother.

It kind of works.

To combat the loneliness, she prods at Winn until they go and do something that’s not stopping muggings while wearing a dumb as shit motorcycle helmet every night. Game nights do not technically resume, because that was always Kara’s thing, _but,_ Winn tells Alex that there is one game that he hasn’t gotten to play in years, and it can be a continuing thing and very fun, and they could play this _one_ game, technically, instead of multiple, which is the true spirit of Kara’s game night, and when she _does_ come back, they’ll pick up where they left off.

He says all of this in half a breath as Alex stuffs her mouth with fries and James and Lena sort of look at him sideways across the booth.

“What game?” James asks.

Winn’s smile gets real wide and Alex is pretty sure that she regrets this already. When James’s eyes light up and the two of them start talking about characters and classes and a game of Clark’s they used to do weekly, Alex eyes Lena.

“Do you know what they’re talking about?”

“I’ve heard of it, but no, I’ve never played.”

“And then Lois TPK’d the whole damn party,” James says, laughing so hard he nearly chokes the words out. Winn reacts to this as though it’s one of the funniest things that he has ever been told.

“What the fuck is a TPK?” asks Alex.

“Hopefully we won’t find out,” Winn says. Pointing towards James he adds, “No Lois allowed unless we’re higher level.”

James nods. “For sure.”

Winn almost jumps out of his seat in excitement, elbowing Alex in the process. She grunts and pokes him in the leg in retaliation, but he barely notices. “So, wait… I had no idea you knew how to play, so, I was planning on DM’ing but—”

“Oh, no way. I wanna DM.”

Winn’s smile grows wide and Alex _definitely_ regrets this.

…

…

“So, I’m a dragon?”

“No, dragon _born._ You’re a silver dragonborn. So, like, humanoid. _Descendent_ from dragons,” Winn points to her character sheet. Hers is the only one that was partly filled out for her when she arrived. Alex had told James to just make her a human… fighter person. This is, not that.

“What the fuck is a rogue?”

“Like an assassin!” Winn says, “Ohhh James, great idea. Or! Or, you can do magic, or be more like a thief. Or—”

“God this is dumb. What are you?”

“A tabaxi bard!”

Alex looks over at James, who is _also_ grinning at her. Lena and Eve Teschmacher, of all people, are excitedly rolling a bunch of dice and scribbling on their sheets. She considers just grabbing her things and leaving, but this was sort of _her idea_ and a game of “puzzle solving and teamwork where you get to eat Doritos and pretend to do magic” sounds a lot healthier than drinking and punching people and feeling sad. Plus, James apparently learned how to play this game with Clark, so, she’ll have ammunition to tease him with after this, at least.

“I made you a silver one so your damage is cold,” James says, he looks enthusiastic, but slightly nervous for the first time since they all showed up at his apartment. “So, you’ve basically got Freeze Breath.”

“Oh shit,” Winn breathes. The whole table goes a bit quiet. Lena and Eve look over at the three of them, unmoving, James and Winn just staring at Alex and waiting for her reaction. Eve looks more confused than Lena does. Which, _shit,_ Alex doesn’t know why they brought another person along, regardless about _party sizes_ or whatever bullshit James and Winn had been going on and on about.

“Oh,” Eve says, perking up. “So, kinda like Supergirl! That’s pretty cool!”

Alex bites at her lower lip—hard. She is _not_ going to cry in front of Lena Luthor and Cat Grant’s former assistant. She swallows thickly and looks up at James. “Cool,” she repeats. His shoulders sag in relief after she smiles at him and nods, and when she turns away, shaking the tears that did _not_ fall, she catches Lena’s gaze.

Her eyes are narrowed, slightly, and her eyebrow does the thing again. She looks like maybe this time, she’s going to press it, but then Eve shifts beside her, catching Lena’s attention, and her mouth closes.

“What are you?” Alex asks, quick.

“A high elf wizard.” She’s still looking at Alex rather pointedly.

“Ooo,” Eve says, trying to sneak a look on her character sheet. “Sun or moon?”

Alex goes to get a taco. She does not hear Lena’s answer. She doesn’t really care about Lena’s answer. She kind of just wants to chug a beer and watch a movie instead of whatever the fuck is about to happen, but… it seems like something that Kara would have a blast doing, if she were here. And, James gave her Freeze Breath and a bunch of knives… so.

It might not end up being the worst evening of her life.

When she sits back down with her taco, Eve announces that if they want, she can draw all of their characters for next time, if they describe them all to her.

“You can draw?” Alex asks, mouth still a little full.

Eve nods, looking a little shy. “I mean, I’m not great or anything. I just kind of do it for fun when I’m bored sometimes. But visuals might be cool.”

“That’s awesome Eve,” James says.

“So, what are you?” Alex asks. “An elf too?”

“Nope,” Eve grins and sits up straighter. “A half-orc barbarian.”

Winn whoops. “This is gonna be so much fun.”

Alex looks at the picture in the book that shows the barbarians and then glances up at Eve, wearing pastels and carefully munching on a chip daintily. Girl has depths, apparently.

“So,” James claps his hands together. “Let’s get started.”

Alex grabs another taco.

…

…

Lena sort of corners her in the bathroom near the end of the night. They’ve finished playing and agreed to make Sunday afternoons a weekly go of it. It was actually… way more fun than Alex anticipated, but a lot more confusing too. There’s fucking acting involved. And math.

Alex turns to slip out of James’s bathroom, and Lena is directly in front of her. “Shit, sorry,” she says, jumping.

“Hi Alex,” Lena looks entirely unfazed. She might actually step a little closer. “Did you have fun?”

“It was ok,” she shrugs. Lena doesn’t move, so Alex sort of… leans against the door frame. “You?”

“It was much more entertaining than I thought it would be,” Lena smiles. “James seems pretty good at it. I had no idea this was something he enjoyed.”

“Relationships can be weird like that. Some people don’t tell you they play Dungeons and Dragons; some people don’t tell you that they don’t want kids.”

Lena’s eyes snap to Alex’s, and she really wouldn’t hate melting into the floor, right about now. That third beer was probably a bad idea after not drinking at all for the last two weeks. Third taco probably wasn’t the greatest idea either, from the way her stomach is starting to recoil.

“Sorry,” she adds. “I’m just…” she trails off. If she were to answer that question honestly, she’d be telling Lena information that isn’t really hers to tell. “Kinda drunk,” she says, instead.

“I’ll drive you home,” Lena decides, and she’s turning around and announcing that information to James before Alex can protest. She tries anyway, but Lena isn’t taking no for an answer. Alex tugs on her jacket and shuffles awkwardly in front of the door as Lena kisses James and whispers something to him. Eve and Winn already headed out, chattering away excitedly about their characters and the exact way that Winn’s cat’s stripes are arranged. Or, something. “Come on,” Lena says, looping her arm with Alex’s when she sways, losing her balance more out of surprise that Lena is suddenly in front of her, and far less because of the alcohol working its way through her system.

“This really isn’t neces—”

“So, how is that going?” Lena asks, cutting her off and gently pushing her into the passenger seat.

“How’s what going?”

“The adoption thing.”

“Cut right to the chase, huh?”

Lena pulls away from the curb and shoots Alex a quick look that could mean anything before turning her eyes back to the road.

“Well… it’s expensive. And hard to do if you’re single. And even harder to do if you’re queer and single. So. It’s not. Going.” There’s a long pause of silence and then Lena seems like she is about to speak. Quickly, Alex starts rambling about all of her Google searches. It’s the most that she’s ever felt like Kara’s sister in all her life. “Plus, apparently it takes forfuckingever, so,” she huffs out a breath. “I don’t know.”

“It’s easier if you foster first,” Lena says, after Alex has been quiet for about a minute.

“What? How do you know?”

“I looked into it,” Lena says, pulling up to Alex’s apartment building. “Also, I’m adopted.”

“Oh… right.”

“I can look into some more information on foster care. If you want.”

It’s the third time that she’s offered help in the last month and a half, and it sounds just as sincere as the other times. She’s not pestering. She’s just… offering. Suddenly, Alex doesn’t know why she’s been brushing Lena off. The Luthor thing hasn’t been an issue for over a year, now. Alex saw firsthand how devoted a friend Lena can be with Sam. And, it’s not as if Alex’s life is full of friends right now, she’s got plenty of room.

She wants this, and it looks daunting, and Lena is a person who is really good at getting what she wants. Alex has seen that firsthand, too.

“Yeah,” she says, her voice cracks on it, a little. She clears her throat. “I’d… thank you, Lena. That would be a big help.”

“Okay,” Lena shrugs, smiles. “Sounds like a plan, then.”

Alex meets her eye and smiles back. “Great.”


	2. Chapter 2

Weekly Dungeons and Dragons games somehow becomes one of the things that Alex most looks forward to. James is a great storyteller, which maybe shouldn’t surprise Alex, but does. Winn is forced to sing whenever he inspires the rest of them, and he’s _good._ Eve has a subtle quick wit and gets into her character in ways that make them all feel comfortable enough to jump in and be goofy too. Alex isn’t surprised one bit that Lena is brilliantly clever and can solve nearly every puzzle that James throws at her, what she _is_ surprised by is how well the two of them work together to do it. Sundays become her favorite day of the week, the most relaxed and joyful Alex has felt in months.

Except, for the way that Lena’s face sometimes scrunches up whenever James or Winn alludes to Kara. Or Supergirl, a reminder that jolts Alex back into missing her. The three of them usually go quiet and occasionally whisper to themselves whenever they all take a bathroom break. It sometimes happens when Lena comes out in the field with them too, and Alex can tell by the look on her face that it’s getting more and more frustrating for her each time that it happens.

So, Lena finally sort of… explodes.

Kara has been gone for almost three months, now. They’ve been regularly hanging out and playing DnD for a solid month, at least. And they’ve been going out at night with Guardian for even longer, so, they’ve worked up to a kind of half-formed routine of friendship.

But then, Lena goes and disrupts the whole thing, and somewhere _very_ deep down, a part of Alex is relieved.

Eve is in the bathroom when it happens, thank _god,_ and the three of them are in a little huddle as Lena sits at the table, rearranging her dice by color when she snaps at them. “We all know that Kara is Supergirl, just _talk_ to each other, for god’s sake.”

Alex’s head whips around so fast that for a second she’s worried that she might have given herself a slight bout of whiplash. From the way that Lena winces, it seems almost plausible. Alex knows that she might look as panicked and nauseous as she feels, because Lena’s face softens instantly as she quickly adds, “It’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to involve me in the conversation, just… stop with the whispering. I’ve known for a long time, and I haven’t told anyone. Stop insulting my intelligence.”

Before anyone can say or do anything in response, Eve walks back into the room. She’s smart as a whip, Alex has learned, and she instantly picks up on the tension in the room. “Um… are we done for the night?”

“That’s probably for the best,” Lena says with a sigh. She shoves her dice into her bag, grabs her binder, and has her coat on in a matter of seconds. James jumps forward and then it’s the two of them whispering furiously while Alex stands in the middle of James’s apartment and tries to force herself to breathe.

Lena’s gone by the time that she finally manages it. Winn is trying to make a joke of the whole thing to Eve, who is just looking at all of them like maybe even she knows what is going on right now, but gamely just starts to help to pick up.

“James,” Alex says, half a breath. Strained.

“She says that she’s not—”

“Move,” Alex says, instead. She pushes past him and chases after Lena, forgetting everything that she came with. James doesn’t follow.

“LENA!” Alex hollers, following her into the hotel lobby. She’s gasping for breath from the run over here, and half the guests and the guy behind the front desk freeze at her sudden intrusion. Somewhere in the back of her brain, Alex is glad to see the glare the guy behind the desk gives her. The way he reaches towards something out of sight with purpose, ready to help Lena from a potential threat. Whether he’s doing it because it’s his job and Lena is paying to stay here, or out of genuine loyalty Alex doesn’t actually care. Someone has her back here, at least.

Lena halts, the sound from the click of her shoes as she rotates to face Alex reverberates in her skull. Lena holds reassuring a hand up over to the guy, then waits for Alex to reach her before she starts walking towards the elevator again. “Do you want some coffee?” she asks, once the elevator doors close them in together.

“No,” Alex snorts. “I want all the booze you have.” Lena’s eyebrow does the thing again and Alex might find it in herself to strangle her right now, maybe. She _could,_ skill-wise. She could overpower Lena if she needed to. Lena’s smart and Alex knows she’s got weapons at reach. Tasers, maybe. A gun, something else that she’s cooked up of her own twisted invention, maybe. But Alex knows how to get past most things, she could do it.

She managed, with Astra.

It’s that thought that causes Alex’s hands to shake, remembering the look on Astra’s face, when she realized what had happened. The sound of Kara’s horrible cry. _God,_ she might not be able to do it again.

“I have coffee,” Lena says, walking out of the elevator doors into what Alex guess is the penthouse. Fuck, Lena is rich. She forgets, sometimes. “I have some wine, if you prefer,” she adds. There isn’t judgment in her tone, but there is a hint of something that causes Alex to clench her fists tight as she nods.

“At least before the coffee,” she croaks, and Lena pauses for a moment before she nods.

“Have a seat, then,” she offers, and pours Alex a glass, passing it over unceremoniously as she turns to make the coffee.

Alex immediately chugs the wine. She’s not super proud of it, but she just does it and then pushes the glass away, looking around the room. It has almost a full working kitchen, which Alex doesn’t think that she has ever seen in a hotel room before. There are two hallways.

The coffee starts to percolate and Lena steps out of her heels. She doesn’t usually wear them when they play DnD—unless she has come straight from work. Alex watches as she starts tugging her hair up into a loose bun. She pauses, her lips pressing together as she seems to consider something, then she just turns and says, “I’ll be right back. Mugs are in the second cupboard.”

“What, no cream or sugar?” Alex says, teasing. It comes out wrong, a little bitter and a little too soft. Lena’s shoulders tense up for a beat.

“If you’ve suddenly started taking it like that, go ahead and check the fridge.”

She walks down the first hallway without another word. Alex blows some hair out of her face. So, Lena Luthor knows how she takes her coffee. She probably shouldn’t be surprised, Lena’s worked out Supergirl’s identity, she knew about the DEO—she’s observant.

Alex’s instincts have her pushing off of the stool and doing a quick scan of the room. It’s pretty bare. There’s a laptop, a few chargers, some coats hanging in the closet, folders and paperwork stacked on a table; nothing decorative that hasn’t clearly come with the room. Nothing personal. Lena has been living in National City for almost two years now, and she’s been living in this cookie cutter—if luxurious as fuck—hotel room. Something about that makes Alex intensely sad. It also makes her like Lena that much more, in a way. Not out of pity, just… empathy? Maybe. Kara gets accused of taking in strays a lot, but she’s accused Alex of it a time or two, also. Fuck, this would be much easier if Kara were here _._

The coffee stops making noise and Lena walks back into the room wearing a pair of black leggings and an oversized burgundy sweater, her face washed free of makeup. Her toes are painted dark purple. They sparkle, a little, and Alex catches herself smiling. She didn’t peg Lena for sparkly nail polish. She expected bright red or some other neutral color.

Lena grabs two mugs and fills them both, passing one over to Alex before shaking a little sugar into her own.

“Look,” Alex says, gripping the mug too tight. “I’m sorry for this, but I have to — protecting Kara has been my job since I was fifteen. Hanging out has been fun, and you’ve helped us more than once. I know that you love Sam and Ruby, and I know you haven’t said anything _yet,_ but—”

“Say it,” Lena says; there’s a bit of an edge to it, but when Alex looks up, Lena sort of just looks sad. Like this conversation was inevitable, like Alex was always going to come up here and threaten Lena into shutting her mouth, and she knew it. She was waiting for it. Alex tastes bile in the back of her throat and forces it back. This is her role. Kara gets to smile and hug people and help them assemble IKEA furniture—Alex is the one who has to make sure that is possible, by whatever means necessary.    

She doesn’t say it. The bile taste grows too strong. Instead, Alex opens her mouth and quietly says, “I love Kara, and I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect her.”

“I’ve known that since I met you,” Lena says easily.

“I don’t want that to fuck up… whatever… friendship thing we have,” Alex honestly could not possibly sound more awkward at this moment, and Lena’s eyebrow quirks up in full amusement right now. Alex would like to melt into the floor, if possible. Instead, she watches as Lena’s face slowly twists into a frown.

“Are we?” she asks.

Alex doesn’t catch on for a moment or so, but Lena doesn’t elaborate. Alex sips her coffee and stares at Lena and then looks around at the impersonal room. They’re not really friends, she realizes. They’re people who have spent a considerable amount of time together, at this point. But, they’re using each other as replacements for other people. Kara and Sam, who knows how many others. They’re not friends; it’s a painful realization, which shows just how much Alex _was_ starting to think that maybe they were. Which is a little surprising, but not a lot, when she really thinks about it. But they’re not friends; they’re the type of stuff that people grab onto to in order to keep themselves from drowning. They’re fucking driftwood.

Lena makes a snorting kind of noise and tips her head back in contemplation, and Alex realizes that she’s said that part out loud.

“Driftwood?” says Lena. Before Alex can take it back or say anything else, Lena purses her lips together. “I think I’m far too rich to be compared to old rotting wood. Come up with a better analogy than that, at least,” she’s smirking into her mug, eye’s locked with Alex, and Alex bursts into laughter uncontrollably. Lena’s got a good sense of humor. She just might be as terrible at making friends as Alex is, and she might be as lonely, too. Maybe they’re not quite friends yet, but Alex realizes in this moment that she wants them to be.

“We can try,” she says, answering Lena’s earlier question.

Lena freezes, like maybe she wasn’t expecting that. She was expecting Alex to follow her. To threaten her. To drop her and leave her alone, again. Alex was expecting that too, if she’s being honest. Instead, she holds her hand out. “I mean, your stupid elf seems to be the main reason that the rest of our party is alive, at the moment, and I’ll never hear the end of it from Winn if _I’m_ the reason that you never play with us again. So...”

Lena’s smirk widens, but she’s tentative when she reaches out and takes Alex’s hand. “You’re particularly terrible at Dungeons and Dragons. That’s not my fault.”

“Shut up!” Alex pushes her hand away, grinning. “I’m getting way better! I totally fooled that Goliath dude two weeks ago!”

“Then you fell into a pit of lava and almost died.”

“Yeah, well, you saved me,” Alex grins. “And then _I_ saved your squishy ass when the other goliath came up behind you, so.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that,” Lena laughs. “But I’m not that squishy anymore. I have forty-seven hit points now.”

“Forty-seven, oh, that’s cute,” Alex teases. “Sixty-four,” she points to herself.

Lena shoves her hard enough that she nearly falls off the stool, the two of them laughing so hard that Alex’s abs hurt when she walks home, an hour later.

…

…

So… they’re actually kind of friends now.

Lena starts showing up at the DEO randomly throughout the week, which isn’t an easy feat until Alex hollers at the security guys out front and tells HR to give Lena a goddamn pass—she’s a consultant.

Sort of.

It becomes more of a hassle than it’s worth, most of the time, so instead Alex starts showing up at L-Corp with food on her lunch break. Lena forgets to eat a lot, Alex remembers Kara telling her that. She gets wrapped up in something and unless someone shows up and puts food in front of her, she won’t think to seek it out. Alex has never had that problem. She gets wrapped up in a thing and then if she’s hungry, she can’t focus. Her whole body goes on pause until she finds something, and then usually, the minute food gets in her hands, she’s worked out whatever issue she was having. Kara operates pretty similarly, they’ve solved a lot of cases pigging out on lo mein.

Lena forgets to eat, and she seems… stunned by Alex showing up bearing food. “Oh—” she stutters, “Eve usually—”

“I asked her what you usually like,” Alex says, dropping the bag full of a huge ass salad down in front of Lena. She plops down onto the couch and starts cracking into her own, the chicken smells great. “Is that right?” she asks when Lena just stares down into the bag.

“Oh, yes,” she grabs a fork somewhat awkwardly, then her spine straightens and she plasters on a smile. Alex suspects there’s something slightly faked to it. She’s still caught off guard by Alex’s presence. “Thank you,” she says, sincerely enough that Alex shrugs and shoves some salad into her mouth.

“No problem.”

…

…

Food becomes the easiest way for the two of them to spend time together that’s not late-night crime fighting with Guardian or imaginary, magical crime fighting with their friends. Alex brings Lena lunch at least three times a week, give or take an emergency, and Lena starts… inviting Alex over for dinner.

She cooks. Which Alex did not see coming. That she’s fucking _fantastic_ at it, is even more of a surprise.

Alex takes a bite of pasta about two weeks after the whole Supergirl Reveal Incident and actually fucking moans. “Oh my god, you’re good at this,” she exclaims, mouth full.

Lena smirks and takes her own plate and sits down. “I begged our cook to teach me when I was little. But I didn’t really start taking it seriously until after undergrad. Lex never ate, someone had to make sure that he didn’t waste away,” she laughs and then freezes up, realizing what she’s just said.

“What was your cook’s name?” Alex asks, shifting the subject slightly. Lena’s shoulders lose a tiny bit of their tension.

“Genevieve.”

“Fancy,” Alex teases, getting the smile out of Lena that she was edging for. “Kara and I just spent our childhood burning pancakes that sometimes tasted suspiciously like our mom’s experiments. Kara was the taste tester because one time I ate something and had to go to the hospital. Her stomach is almost as tough as the rest of her.”

“That sounds nice,” Lena says, quiet. “Apart from ingesting poisonous chemicals.”

“It had its moments,” Alex shrugs. “I’m sure that cooking with Genevieve and your brother had their moments too.”

Lena grips at her wine glass tightly, but she nods. “They did,” she says, then meets Alex’s eye and gives her a shaky smile. “Once in a while.”

…

…

“Roll for initiat—”

“An argument could be made that the silver could work like a mirror,” Alex says, quickly pointing towards her chest, which just makes James frown. Right, her skin isn’t actually silvery dragon scales. Alex holds the picture that Eve drew up in front of her face and James sighs.

“He’s looking _directly_ at you.”

“And an argument could be made that the silver could work like a mirror!” Alex repeats. “I’m very shiny!”

“She is,” Winn chimes in. “So shiny. Very reflective.”

James looks at Lena, who smiles. “She’s not entirely wrong.”

“SERIOUSLY!?”

Alex is basically sitting on the back of the chair now. “I’m just saying—”

 _“Fine,”_ James sighs, “stealth roll.”

Alex grabs her dice, nearly falling off the chair in the process. Lena’s hands whip up and grab the base of it. Alex does the math quickly and then looks up with a grin. Eve claps happily.

“Thirty-four.”

 _“Jesusfuckingchrist,”_ James mumbles. Winn jumps out of his seat and starts singing and pumping his fists.

“Can I get inspiration from that?” Eve asks.

“NO,” James says. “For it to count, he has to make up his own words to the tune. That’s what we agreed on. Plus, he’s used up all his inspiration. You haven’t had a long rest yet.”

“How are you rolling into the thirties already?” Lena asks, glancing over Alex’s shoulder to peak at her character sheet. “We’re level four.”

“I’m just that fucking amazing,” Alex says, smirking at James.

He sighs. “He looks at you and thinks a mirror is behind the curtain. He starts fixing his hair and checking his teeth,” James smirks a little. “He leans in closer to pick at his teeth and his breath _reeks.”_

Alex frowns, but grabs a chip away from Winn. “Still badass.”

…

…

Kara has been gone for four and a half months when her first message finally comes through.  

She clearly sent it within the first few days of being back in Argo City. She talks about her new room, how her mother managed to save a few small trinkets from her childhood bedroom, and how strange they look here. She’s grinning when she shows Alex around the room, holding up things that look sort of blue and a bit blurry due to the technology. She talks about how Mon-El and Imra stayed for a day or so to see the city before going back with the Legion. About how strange it is to have her mother around again, a combination of elation and awkwardness now that they are relearning how to have a relationship with each other.

She talks over and over about how much she misses Alex. She cries, when she says it, even though she is trying to smile so Alex will know that she is okay. Her voice wobbles, and she looks fourteen again, for just a flash. Alex goes and digs out her old stash of tequila, at that. Old habits and whatnot.

There are instructions explaining how Alex can send a response back to her, a complicated mess of wiring and light and some sort of signal so they know to drop the blockers that surround Argo City temporarily in order for it to get through. It won’t get to Kara for months.

Alex is still crying and re-watching Kara’s message when Lena shows up with her arms full of groceries to make dinner.

They’ve only been actual friends for like a month, so Alex quickly swipes at her eyes and pretends that she is fine until Lena starts glaring at her. Alex sighs. It’s useless anyway. She’s a shitty actor; when she’s upset everyone knows it.

“Kara sent…” Alex holds up the hologram… thing.

“Oh, Alex,” Lena says, and from anyone else, it would sound like pity, and Alex would hate it. From her, it’s soft, like a warm blanket, like a caress. Or maybe Alex has just had too much to drink on an empty stomach.

Too much or no, Alex knows it’s not the alcohol that has her slipping slender fingers into Lena’s hair when she pulls Alex into a hug; unless she’s missing something, she knows it's not alcohol that has Lena murmuring comforting nonsense about Kara’s strength, or how she’ll be back. It’s a month of carefully crafted friendship. Alex would be ashamed of herself, of the way that she's clinging to Lena’s shirt and taking choked, ragged breaths, but she's drunk and sad and, anyway, it's Lena Luthor. It's not like she doesn't already know how much of a pathetic mess Alex is without her sister. Might as well lean into it.

Alex wakes up on Saturday morning underneath a gray comforter that Lena has clearly brought over from her bedroom, with a throw pillow tucked carefully underneath her head. There's a bottle of water sitting on the coffee table with a piece of folded paper balanced over it—a cursory check reveals it to be a sheet from one of Kara’s reporter notebooks. Which the immediate sight of cuts that much deeper and works as a sort of balm at the same time.

 _DRINK ME!_ it says, in large underlined letters, and, smaller, below, _I know it’s not even remotely the same, but I do know a thing or two about missing a sibling who is gone but not quite gone. My therapist is under the impression that talking about it with the people in my life is healthy. I’m not entirely sure that I agree with her, but I’m willing to give it a shot if you’d like. It might make us both feel better. That, or we can commiserate and shut out our emotions together, whichever you like — L._

Alex has never felt more like a middle school girl in her life, not even when she was one, but she saves the note.

…

…

The thing about being friends with Lena Luthor, Alex has learned, is that she is _terrible_ at it.

Alex knows that maintaining friendships has never been her strong suit, but that lends itself to her being prickly and awkward and a bit too blunt until someone learns her humor or she grows comfortable with them. Then, she is mostly fine. Lena however, is terrible at it in the way that Alex supposes makes sense, for a rich kid with the name Luthor attached. Even before Lex, Luthor carried a weight for generations that must have left a weight on a little girl’s shoulders that felt enormous. Plus, Alex has met Lena’s mother. She’ll take one of her worst fights with Eliza any day of the week.

All of this culminates into Lena being eager in a way that’s equal parts endearing and sad, and it triggers every protective instinct that Alex usually has reserved for Kara. Like Kara, Lena can absolutely handle herself, but Alex finds herself growing furious any time that she sees some asshole being rude to Lena online, or when they go out for coffee or food. Lena carries herself like she is used to it and it doesn’t hurt her, but Alex has seen the way that her face falls when they’re alone, and she definitely bends one particular waiter’s fingers back until he makes a horrible little squeal that one time when Lena isn’t looking.

All of this also culminates into Lena using incredibly grand and often inappropriate gestures in the name of friendship. To name a few:

(a) a yearly subscription to the ballet, after Alex had mentioned once that she has never been, but always kinda wanted to;

(b) a set of customized _actual gold_ dice for the entire party that Alex had noticed and shown Winn once;

(c) paying, nearly every time that they go out for food, or showing up randomly with groceries. Alex hasn’t paid for food in months, despite trying _really hard_ to beat Lena to the punch;

(d) an apartment full of plants, when Alex mentions that she needs something to spruce the place up, offhand in the middle of a random conversation;

(e) a goddamn  _baby._

“What?” Alex breathes, her hands shaking. Lena is ginning, full watt, and Alex can feel her thrumming with excitement from three feet away. The man is standing in Alex’s hallway, holding a goddamn _baby_ and massive amounts of paperwork.

“We need a placement for a few months, at least,” he repeats. The little girl sticks her fingers in his ear. He ignores it and glances down at the file in his hands. “You’re a new foster parent I see, so there are a few things we’ll need to go over in detail. She’s sixteen months and done nursing, but we’ll need to make sure that you have the appropriate equipment for—”

“We’ll get it,” Lena says quickly. Alex can already see her making a mental checklist and she might have to smack her. She already somehow expedited the process to make Alex a licensed foster parent, and now there is a _baby—_ she’s not letting her buy a crib and a car seat too. Alex doesn’t even have her own car. Fuck, she probably needs her own car now.

The man—Jerry maybe? or Jeff? —keeps talking about legal things that Alex nods in response to but hears none of. Lena nods like she’s listening, and he keeps pointing towards the paperwork, so Alex assumes the important information is in there—hopefully.

Because she can’t stop looking at the baby in his arms. Any minute now, he’s going to pass her over and leave, and Alex is going to be a fucking foster parent.

Her name is Ayla. She has a tiny little afro, and the biggest brown eyes, and the tiniest little hands that Alex has ever seen, and she’s beautiful.

She starts crying the minute that Jeff-or-Jerry puts her into Alex’s arms and leaves. Alex panics and looks over at Lena.

“She can tell that you’re panicking, relax,” Lena says, far more calmly than feels appropriate. “I’m going to go get a crib and some baby food, I’ll be back in a bit.”

“What!? Lena! _No!”_ it’s no use, Lena walks over, kisses Alex on the cheek, smiles at the baby and then leaves.

Ayla stops crying at looks up at Alex like she’s accepted her new fate, but her face is still wobbly. Alex sits down on the couch with Ayla in her lap. “Hi,” she says. “I’m Alex.”

Ayla tugs on her hair.

…

…

Kara has been gone for six months and Alex has a kid now.

Sort of.

Temporarily. Hopefully, the Kara being gone thing is temporary too, but Alex tries not to focus on either thing too much. Ayla takes up a lot of her brain space, so it’s easier not to focus on the fact that this is the longest Alex has gone without talking to Kara since she was fifteen years old, or that someday soon, Ayla isn’t going to be around.

She’s never been more thankful that J’onn promoted her. Alex sets up a room in the DEO with a crib and toys and hires a nanny that she mostly can afford for a few hours a day. She goes in to work at nine most days, but that slowly turns more into ten once she realizes unless there is an emergency, they don’t really need her before then, and mornings with Ayla are her favorite part of the day—even when she’s being fussy.

Which, happens a lot in the first few weeks. It’s… much harder than Alex ever anticipated and she has a moment when she freaks out and calls her mother and cries that she absolutely cannot do this until Eliza gets on a plane and tells Alex to calm down and pull herself together. She’s hugging her when she does so, and her voice isn’t harsh. When she pulls back, she cups Alex’s face and looks at her with so much warmth that Alex starts crying all over again.

“You can do this Alexandra,” she says like it’s the most certain she has ever felt and suddenly, Alex believes her. “Now,” Eliza smiles at Ayla and picks her up. “Should we take this little girl on a walk? It’s beautiful out.”

“Okay,” Alex wipes at her face and points to the stroller that Lena had shown up with two weeks ago.

 _I rented it long term! I didn’t buy it!_ she insisted. _Plus, what’s the point of inheriting all of this money if I can’t do something good with it? This is better than expensive clothes or wine or whatever._

Alex had rolled her eyes. _You buy that too._

 _Well,_ Lena smirked. _I’m very rich._

Alex had pushed Ayla into Lena’s arms and told her to strap her into the stroller. Turns out, Ayla is a good luck charm, Alex rolled three nat20’s that night.

Winn is terrified to hold her, but Ayla seems to find this entertaining, so she is given to Winn whenever she starts getting fussy. He gulps and holds her about a foot away from himself half of the time, and then starts explaining the plot of Star Wars until she’s captivated.

She doesn’t seem to like Eve. Alex suspects that it’s a combination of the baby voice that Eve puts on and the strong smell of her perfume. Thankfully, Eve’s content to just wave at the baby from a distance and takes no offense.

Ayla _loves_ James. Alex is pretty sure that deep voices calm her down. When they play DnD, Ayla sits on James’s lap as he narrates half of the time, and she usually falls asleep there, curled up against his broad chest.

Lena sits somewhere between Winn and Eve, in terms of her response to the baby. She always seems surprised and unsure whenever Ayla ends up in her arms, and avoids it, occasionally. But once Ayla is actually left in her care, she seems to relax and light up in a way that Alex hasn’t seen from her much. Babies are pretty non-judgmental. Babies have no idea what the last name Luthor means, or what Lena’s brother has done. Ayla just knows that Lena is really good at backrubs, and talks to her like she is a person.

Alex looks over at her, holding Ayla in one arm and trying to respond to a text from James in the other. She turns back to the stove, pokes at the mix of veggies in the wok and adds some more seasoning. Lena’s the better cook between the two of them by far, but Alex can feed herself when she wants to. Stir fry is one of her better dishes.

Lena sets her phone down, a slight frown on her face until Ayla whacks at her and gets her attention. Then, she’s smiling and sitting down on the floor and pushing a ball back and forth between them until Ayla’s giggling so hard she falls over.

Lena looks up at Alex, beaming, and that incredibly annoying fluttery feeling happens again before Alex squashes it down.

Alex has noticed, of course, the string of something between her and Lena that isn’t just that they both learned how to fill in their adult selves around the legacy—good and bad—of their family members. It isn’t just that they’re both desperately trying not to let anybody down—whether that anybody is their family or the collective cultural consciousness—it isn’t just that they both struggle sometimes with their place in the world. Even if she was oblivious to it on a personal level, Alex is trained to read things in people that they’re not aware of themselves, to spot whether someone is really going to pull a trigger or not, if they’re lying to your face or believe that what they’re saying is the truth. If she  _didn’t_  notice the way that their distances have been shrinking these last four months, the way their evenings are filling up with matching socialization, then she probably doesn’t deserve to call herself director of anything, let alone the DEO.

What that all might mean, and what she is going to do about it, are very different things.

For one, Ayla is taking up the majority of Alex’s free time and thoughts. For another, James is right there and has become her actual friend and not just someone who she tangentially spends time with because he’s her sister’s friend.

Alex has noticed that their friend group has sort of shifted a bit in the last month or so that Ayla has been around. Now that she is aware of it, she realizes that it’s been happening for a while; before Ayla was here, it’s just more apparent now. James and Winn start doing more Guardian things without Alex—or Lena—and they hang out a lot less throughout the week too. Mostly (other than seeing Winn at work) she sees them on Sundays to play Dungeons and Dragons. Eve is really nice and charming and Alex likes spending time with her but it’s sort of clear on both their ends that their relationship is mostly just playing DnD and probably isn’t going to move much past that. She is technically still James’s assistant, as far as Alex knows, but she works for Lena more often than not, and Alex is pretty sure that she is going to officially shift over to being Lena’s main assistant once she finds someone worthy to replace her at CatCo.

Alex doesn’t actually know for sure, because Lena doesn’t really talk about her relationship with James to Alex all that much anymore, but she discerns that Lena _has_ to be spending less time with him simply by how often she is around Alex. Unless they’re both skipping out on work during the day—which, Alex supposes is _possible,_ they’re both bosses who can set their own schedules—neither of their personalities seems like that is something they would do all that often.

They used to act a lot more like a couple. Alex has walked in on them making out more than once, but not any time recently that she can remember.

She feels guilty once she realizes how often she is monopolizing Lena’s time and tries to tell her so a few days later. Lena is back for dinner again and Alex asks if she wants to beg off and go out with James or something.

“Ayla and I will be fine,” she assures Lena. “I’ve got the hang of it now.” She smiles in a way that is meant to convey maturity and levity, but from the way that the corners of Lena’s mouth dip into a frown, maybe doesn’t work so well. “Seriously,” she adds, “you’re here all the time. Just because I don’t have a life doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Go hang out with your boyfriend.”

The smile that slips onto Lena’s face is a fake one, though Alex can’t figure out why. She watches as Lena bends down and kisses Ayla’s forehead and then grabs her purse. She’s gripping it too tightly when she pulls it up over her shoulder. Something about the way that she is looking down at Alex makes her think she’s made Lena angry, somehow, but Lena nods and leaves before she can ask why.

…

…

“Ayla, _please,”_ Alex says. “I’m begging.”

Ayla splashes her in the face—again. This bath is not going well. Usually, she loves bathes, but she’s in a terrible mood today and has been since yesterday afternoon. Alex can’t really imagine taking her to James’s like this, there is almost no way she’ll behave.

“Lex!” Ayla yells, grabbing at Alex’s arm and pouting. She can’t say Alex. The first time that she addressed Alex, Lena was there. Lena was holding her, actually. For a split second, Alex thought she was going to drop the baby in shock, but she pulled herself together and passed Ayla over as demanded. She still flinches sometimes when Ayla says it, but not all of the time.

“Sorry,” Alex had said, which was useless and she knew it, but she didn’t know what else to say.

“For what?” Lena asked. “Your name? Don’t be sorry Alex,” she said, elongating the ‘lex’ part to her name. She’d studied Alex’s face, and brought up a finger, tracing the sides of her face and underneath her chin. It felt incredibly strange, mostly because neither of them have a particularly tactile relationship, all things considered, and because Lena did it with such purpose, like she was looking for something. Alex had stayed very still and waited until she pulled her hand away. “It’s nice actually,” she said. “The name doesn’t have to be tainted. It can just be a name. It belongs to my brother, and it belongs to my friend,” Lena shrugged. “I think maybe it helps.”

Lena’s not here to flinch at Ayla’s words now. Alex reaches out and manages to get her phone in the hand that isn’t currently making sure that Ayla doesn’t tip over in the tub and texts James that she’s not going to make it to play DnD tonight. It’s only the second time that she’s ever missed the game. Twice, Winn and Alex had a work emergency that took all weekend, and James and Lena ended up helping with that instead. Lena has cancelled only once due to work. It’s rare that they don’t all play together every week, and Alex’s mood sinks as soon as the text message is sent.

 **[James: 4:30pm]** _Sorry to hear that, we’ll work around it. Next week?_

 **[Alex: 4:31pm]** _fingers crossed._

Alex tosses her phone gently over towards the rug and turns back to get a towel to wrap Ayla up in. She screams, furious at being taken out of the bath that she didn’t seem to want to be in in the first place. It’s just that kind of night.

She throws her food in Alex’s hair.

She refuses to be put down, but she whacks at Alex’s shoulders and yanks on her hair while she is in her arms.

She throws every toy that Alex tries to get her to play with at Alex’s head with pretty impeccable accuracy for a nineteen-month-old.

Alex gives up around 6:45, and the two of them flop down on Alex’s bed as she tries to sing Ayla to sleep. She kicks and cries in protest, but Alex rubs her back and just keeps singing until she tires herself out, one hand gripping the collar of Alex’s t-shirt fiercely.

Alex falls asleep very shortly afterward. Motherhood is exhausting.

…

…

Kara’s second message comes nine months after she leaves for Argo City.

If Alex knew anyone who was pregnant, they’re would be a whole new person in that span of time. Technically, there _is_ a new person, in a way. A few weeks after Ayla shows up, Alex sends Kara a new message and films Ayla giggling as James bounces her on his knee.

Kara’s response is excited squealing and eight million questions. She looks better this time. Happier. More settled. Alex gets a glimpse of Alura, another mini-tour, and Kara only cries because she’s happy for Alex, this time.

She still says how much she misses Alex and everyone on Earth. She still says that Argo City feels a bit strange, like a coat that used to be her favorite, and is still molded to her body, but she’s outgrown it.

Alex still re-watches her message over and over and ends up crying, but it feels more cathartic and less debilitating. She gets Ayla dressed and heads out to meet Lena, Winn, and James for dinner. She smiles and feels okay, overall.

Lena notices that her eyes are a little red, and she figures out exactly why two seconds before Alex is about to tell her. God, she’s observant.

Alex still misses Kara like one of her limbs is missing. Maybe a toe. Something small. She _almost_ feels like her life is back to normal, but there is something there that’s making her walk a bit strange. Something that used to be there that’s gone. She has learned how to walk just fine without it, but she’s still aware that it’s missing, now.

…

…

Alex turns around to hand Lena her ice cream cone and freezes, for just a second. Lena is sitting on a bench, bending forward and whispering and laughing to Ayla, strapped into her stroller. The sun catches Lena’s hair just so and when she turns and meets Alex’s eye, she grins.

 _Oh,_ Alex thinks, _fuck._

…

…

Jerry-Not-Jeff shows up, and right away Alex can tell that this isn’t another regular checkup to see how they are doing.

He has more paperwork. His voice is serious and calm. He says things like,  _birth mother is doing really well,_ and,  _got a place of her own, has been holding down a job,_ and _you’ve done a really great thing here,_ and _the goal is always to keep families together if we can._

And the thing is, Alex knows all of this. She knew it the second that she read up about foster care. Jeff-No-Jerry said it the first day that they came over, four months ago. He was confident in Ayla’s birth mother from the get-go. He has done this job for over twenty years, and he can tell when someone genuinely wants to do what’s best for their child and just needs some help, some time, and when they don’t.

Ayla’s mom is one of the good ones, and she loves that little girl fiercely and Alex is _so glad._

It doesn’t make this hurt any less.

Alex picks Ayla up and presses their cheeks together. She closes her eyes and whispers, “Have the best life little girl,” her voice cracks and her throat feels too tight but she forces her mouth open again because even if Ayla is too young and probably won’t remember, it’s important. “I love you, and I’m so, so, glad that I got to meet you.”

Alex passes Ayla over to her mother, who is ecstatic and overwhelmed and crying just as hard as Alex is, probably more. “Thank you,” she keeps saying, over and over.

Alex tries to give her the stroller and she bursts into tears. “I can’t—”

“Please,” Alex croaks. She’ll pay whatever she needs to in order to cover the cost from Lena renting it.

It’s that thought that has her practically sprinting out of her apartment the minute that they leave, Ayla’s cries ringing out in her ears as she buys a cheap bottle of vodka. She’s halfway towards drunk when she realizes that her feet have taken her to Lena’s hotel building. She slinks down onto the floor when Lena doesn’t answer after she knocks a few times. Her phone’s not on her, she must have left it back in her apartment.

She is completely drunk by the time that Lena shows up.

“Alex?” she asks, voice laced with concern as she rushes down the length of the hallway. “What’s wrong?”

“Who do I pay for the stroller?” Alex asks.

“What?” Lena bends down, crouching in front of her. “What are you talking about—”

“Ayla’s mom came back with Jeff. No, Jerry. I don’t know. I gave her the stroller. Who do I pay for it?”

“Oh, Alex,” Lena says, and again, from anyone else, it would sound like pity, and Alex would hate it. Coming out of Lena’s mouth it’s soft, like the booze warming her stomach, like a caress after being touch-staved. Alex has definitely had too much to drink on an empty stomach.

Too much or no, Alex knows it’s not entirely the alcohol that has her slipping slender fingers into Lena’s hair and tugging her forward until their lips collide; it's not alcohol that has Lena murmuring into her mouth in surprise; it is probably the alcohol that has Alex tugging her closer, licking the roof of her mouth and rubbing the skin on Lena’s temples at the sound of her groan.

It’s not the alcohol that has Alex realizing what a colossal fuck up she is being right now, it’s Lena’s phone, dinging and jolting them both. Alex is ashamed of herself, of the way that she's clinging to Lena’s shirt and taking choked, ragged breaths, but she's drunk and sad and, anyway, it's Lena Luthor. It's not like she doesn't already know how much of a pathetic mess Alex is without her sister. Might as well just own up to it.

“Fuck,” she says, pushing herself away from Lena and rising on wobbly legs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. Shit, I’m sorry,” she says and turns on her heel, and runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i know nothing abt foster care. pls suspend your disbelief. 
> 
> also, fear not, there will be a more permanent kiddo.


	3. Chapter 3

Lena watches Alex run down the hall and it takes her a moment to push herself up from the floor on shaky legs. The first thing that she does is kick off her heels. The second thing that she does is sit down on her couch and stare up at the wall for a while. The one photo that she has of Lex is resting on the mantle—his arm is slung around her shoulders, and they’re both laughing, looking at each other rather than at the camera. One of Lex’s roommates had taken it. Lena had taken the train up from boarding school to visit him for the weekend. It’s one of her fondest memories.

Alex had convinced her to put it up a few weeks ago, after a conversation they’d had about their respective siblings and all of the good and bad things that come with forever being in their shadows.

She’d also asked if Lena was going to live in a goddamn hotel room for the rest of her life, as nice as the idea of constant room service seemed. She had winked after saying it, making sure that Lena knew it wasn’t a real jab.

Lena pushes herself up off the couch and pulls her hair up into a bun. Stripping out of her work clothes, she tugs on a loose t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts before washing her face. The pressure of Alex’s lips on her own still tingles as she wipes off her lipstick. It’s already messy. Alex probably stumbled home with red all over her mouth.

Lena quickly grabs for her phone and texts Winn, asking him to go check on Alex. She doesn’t give him any real details beyond Ayla is gone, and Alex is drunk, and Lena wants to make sure that she gets home okay. She doesn’t say anything about the hungry, desperate kiss, despite how much her whole body keeps reminding her of it.

He texts her back about half an hour later after Lena has climbed into bed with her tablet.

**[Winn 10:56 pm]** _she’s asleep. she’s mad at me for shoving her towards the bed and tucking her in. but she’s okay._

The wave of relief that washes over her surprises Lena. Not that she is relieved that Alex is alright, but the depth of it.

 _Oh,_ she breathes. _Oh._

Everything that has been bubbling underneath the surface for the past few months clicks into perfect place. It feels a bit like when she solves a puzzle or figures out the solution to a problem that has been eating away at her at work—only it was something that she wasn’t actively working on solving, hadn’t even totally known that it needed to be worked out.

Lena sets her tablet down and turns off the light, getting comfortable as her mind whirls back and looks at the last half year with new eyes. All of the time she has spent in Alex’s company, how much she finds herself looking forward to spending time in her presence, how much her relationship with James has been fizzling towards friendship, especially in the last two months or so.

Her conversation with James a week ago makes sense in a way that it hadn’t fully for her at the moment. She’s so glad that he was on the same page as Lena was, that they reached the same conclusion amicably. She loves James, he is probably one of her healthiest relationships in years and neither of them wants any weirdness as they officially move into the friendship they’ve basically been maintaining for a while now.

It takes Lena ages to fall asleep, the feeling of Alex’s slender fingers sliding through her hair, licking the roof of her mouth and rubbing at the skin on Lena’s temples plays over and over. The look of panic and realization on her face after she’d pulled away, clinging to Lena’s shirt and taking choked, ragged breaths before yanking herself back and running down the hall.

…

…

Alex shows up at Lena’s apartment bright and early the next morning, which is a surprise for many reasons. One of which, Lena is the earlier riser between the two of them, and secondly, Alex usually sleeps in even longer whenever she is that drunk the night before.

“I’m sorry,” are the first words out of her mouth when Lena stumbles to answer the door at 4:45 a.m. “I’m so, so sorry Lena,” she says, looking more hungover and miserable than Lena has ever seen her before. “I was drunk and upset and lonely and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I’m sorry. I swear to god that will never happen again,” she sucks in a sharp breath, and Lena watches her shoulders tighten. “I don’t want to make things weird between us,” she says. “I — I really like being your friend, and I don’t want to fuck that up ‘cause I got drunk and sad.”

Lena opens her mouth to tell her that she didn’t actually ruin anything, as far as she is concerned, but Alex plows on quickly.

“I’m really embarrassed just… all around about my behavior last night. Not just… well, I _definitely_ shouldn’t have kissed you, and I’m really sorry. I don’t want to fuck up our friendship, or your relationship with James. I’m just—”

“Alex!” Lena cuts her off because she is just nervously repeating herself at this point and Lena can’t really keep listening to this without coffee. She barely slept last night. “First of all, it’s not a big deal, and you didn’t ruin anything. Second of all, James and I broke up almost two weeks ago, at this point. We just didn’t want to make a whole thing of it. We were going to tell everyone on Sunday but… I guess I’m telling you now instead.”

“Oh,” Alex says, inhaling sharply. “I didn’t — why?”

Lena pushes the door open and sighs. “I need coffee. You… need some water and some Advil by the looks of it.”

“Rude,” Alex mumbles, kicking the door closed behind her with her foot and then promptly wincing at the noise.

“Accurate,” Lena counters pointedly, before turning to start making them coffee.

Alex helps herself to a glass of water and some Advil, knowing where both things are in Lena’s suite. She then slumps down at the table and rests her head in her hands. “Why’d you and James break up?” she asks. “And why didn’t you guys tell us for two weeks? I’ve seen you both a bunch and you both seemed totally fine and normal.”

“We are,” Lena says.

“So, then why?”

“Because we’ve been friends for weeks, probably months now. We didn’t tell anyone because we both wanted to be sure and wanted to make sure that it wasn’t going to make anything weird or awkward between us. Also, James wanted to make sure it wouldn’t ruin the party,” Lena laughs, passing a mug of coffee over to Alex.

“Winn would be inconsolable if that happened.”

“ _James_ would be,” Lena says, sitting down across from Alex. “So would you, frankly.”

“I would no—” Lena quirks an eyebrow up and Alex slumps. “Yeah, I would be sad. Who’d have thought Dungeons and Dragons would actually _mean_ something to me?” she snorts.

“So,” Lena pushes some hair out of her face. “That’s why.”

“Huh.”

Lena watches Alex’s face carefully. She’s a bit too tired and hungover to fully control the emotions washing over her face and Lena watches her blink and grip her mug tightly before she sort of hunches up and puts a fake smile on. Lena wants to ask Alex if she regrets kissing her last night because she isn’t actually attracted to Lena, and she was just the closest person who Alex trusts right now, and she really was just lonely and upset—or if she regrets it because she thinks that Lena didn’t want it to happen and she’s embarrassed. When it comes to situations like this, historically, Lena has been forthright and clear, even if the conversation is a bit uncomfortable. It’s impossible not to, with her last name. Lex always told her to look out for all possible ulterior motives underneath the surface.

But part of Lena is afraid of what Alex’s answer will actually be.

Instead, she asks, “Do you want to try fostering again?”

Alex jerks a little, like she didn’t expect the question, but then huffs out a breath that reads a bit relieved. “Not yet. I mean… I do. I just… I don’t know if I can handle getting attached to more people and having them leave again. That just feels like how the last half a year has been going, and it’s getting to me, a little.”

Lena doesn’t think about it, just shoots her hand out and grasps Alex’s, clutching it tightly. “Kara is coming back. So is J’onn. And Ruby and Sam are just a few hours away.”

Alex huffs, clearly annoyed with herself. She looks down at their clasped hands and frowns, but it’s a curious thing, rather than annoyance. She squeezes Lena’s hand back and then pulls away, running a palm through her hair. It’s grown—it curls down towards her shoulders now, just skimming the tops of them.

“I know,” Alex says. “It just… doesn’t exactly feel like it.” She blows the hair that fell back in front of her eyes up, then rolls her eyes and pushes herself away from the table. “Sorry, I totally didn’t come here to make this a pity party. I know I’ve been a pain lately. I just wanted to apologize. I… probably should have waited till later in the day,” she laughs. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“Alex—”

“See you later Luthor,” she says smiling too tightly, and then she’s gone.

Lena does eventually fall back asleep, which astounds her when she wakes up again at ten a.m. from the sounds of construction outside. She hasn’t slept in this late in years.

…

…

Things don’t exactly go back to normal, but they stop feeling strange for a while.

Her friendship with James is easy and comfortable. The only awkwardness that comes out of the two of them announcing their breakup comes from Winn expressing his disappointment loudly at the news until Alex reaches over and pinches him. Then the commotion switches to Alex and Winn bickering like siblings while James scribbles away behind his DM screens and Eve starts looking panicked at his excitement. Lena steps away from the table and goes to refill her water glass, brushing past James as she goes and pretending to sneak a peek at his work. He laughs and shoves her away, covering his notes with his arm.

For a brief moment, Lena wonders if they’ve made a mistake. If she’s given up on a good relationship before really trying to reignite the spark that she felt back when they first got together. But when Lena slides back into her seat, sipping her water glass and watching James scribble away, excitement in his eyes that she only ever sees like this when they play—he looks almost like a giddy seventeen-year-old, unabashed happiness—she’s fond, impossibly so, but she has no desire to grab his hand and tug him into the bedroom anymore. She’d like to reach over and give him a hug, or lean into him for a good hour-long cuddle because he hugs like no one she has ever met, but she doesn’t want to get into his pants.

Lena flicks her gaze across the table at Alex and Winn, still bickering. Immediately, the reminder of Alex desperately tugging her close for a kiss comes to mind, and Lena squirms in her seat.

No, she made the right decision. Regardless of what happens with anyone, Alex or otherwise.

As easy and comfortable as her friendship with James remains, her friendship with Alex keeps the slightest tinge of awkwardness to it that never existed before that night in the hallway. Lena does her best to squash it, especially since Alex seems adamant about forgetting all about it, but it lingers over their every interaction.

Where they slowly gained a comfortable and relaxed way of slipping in and out of each other’s space, now, it seems both of them actively give each other a foot or two wide berths at all times. Whenever Alex does touch her—even something as simple as using Lena’s shoulder for balance after Winn reaches out and pokes at her when she moves to go to the bathroom—they both visibly react. Lena is better at keeping her emotions close to her vest than Alex is, but Alex can be impressively difficult to read when she wants to be.

Winn hollers after Alex snags one of Eve’s dice and chucks it with perfect precision at his head.

“DISADVANTAGE ON HER NEXT ROLL!” he demands, rubbing at his temple as he recovers the dice for Eve.

“You started it,” James sighs. Alex and Winn’s antics are constant and barely acknowledged by the rest of them anymore, at this point.

“Disadvantage for them both,” Eve shrugs. Winn gasps dramatically and does not give her back her dice. Instead, pointedly sets it down with his own.

Winn rolls four natural ones in a row with it, while Eve rolls a natural twenty with a different one. Lena salutes him as he smacks his head down onto the table and gives Eve back her dice.

…

…

Even though James and Lena are solid, they do sort of… take a break from spending much time together other than DnD games for a while. It’s not something that either of them agreed on or planned, it just sort of happens naturally.

What also sort of happens naturally is that James gets Winn and Lena gets Alex in the very amicable, not quite divorce grace period that follows.

They still technically share custody of Eve, which is the main thing that causes Lena to think of this breakup as a divorce, and the moment that it pops into her head she bursts out laughing and frightens the woman in question.

“Oh my god, should I call 911?” Eve asks, after Lena is gasping and bent over, laughing so hard that she genuinely cannot breathe for a few seconds.

Years of yoga has her quickly sucking air in through her nose, waving Eve off, and slowly calming herself down. When she finally gets to a place where she can sip the water that Eve will not leave the room without handing her, she tells Eve what brought the fit on.

Eve frowns, then chuckles. “Well, this is going much better than my parents’ divorce so far. So, I’ll take it I guess.”

“Happy to help assuage a bit of childhood trauma,” Lena salutes Eve with her water. Eve snorts now, rolling her eyes and picking up the stack of files from Lena’s desk.

“You’re gonna have to work a bit harder to do that Miss Luthor. My mother made me spy on my father for half a year. Bribery was usually ice cream.”

“I don’t need you to spy,” Lena retorts. “But I am happy to take you out for ice cream.”

“It’s a date then,” Eve says, and slips out into the lobby.

Lena gulps down the rest of the water and gets back to work. Promptly at six, Eve’s head sticks around the door and she knocks. “I was promised ice cream.”

Lena rolls her eyes, but shuts down her computer and pushes away from her desk. Eve as her assistant, James as her boyfriend, and an actual group of friends have all had positive effects on her previously workaholic nature. She is still a workaholic, but now work isn’t the only thing that she has in her life.

“Want to grab dinner first?” Lena asks, tugging on her coat and grabbing her purse.

“Sure. There’s a really great Indian place around the corner.”

“Oh,” Lena pauses. “I’ve been there actually. Kara took me.”

“Did you like it?”

“I did,” Lena smiles. “Good idea.”

Kara is a strange and almost unapproachable subject now. She has been gone for almost a full year. Lena knows that the exact day is creeping up, Alex is growing continuously testier the closer that it gets. Lena is in a strange place with regards to Kara. The rest of them all just miss her, but Lena has built up unresolved feelings about being lied to, and all of her residual feelings surrounding Supergirl. Frankly, Lena is still angry with Kara. Her anger has dulled considerably, and she does miss Kara, too. She was her first friend in National City. The first person in a _long_ time who Lena thought might be a real friend at _all._

Supergirl was—

A symbol of everything that happened with Lex, tied up in a neat little bow, smiling at her. Someone who saw something worthwhile in Lena, completely separate from her brother or her mother. Someone who saved her life, multiple times. A potential enemy. A potential friend.

Turns out, she was all of those things in one person. A person that Lena already knew and had far less complicated feelings toward.

She was furious when she figured it out, but she wasn’t going to give Kara the satisfaction of confronting her with it right away. The anger dulled somewhat, the more that Lena interacted with her Supergirl persona and Kara after she figured it out. She focused her anger towards Supergirl and tried to forget about it when spending time with Kara. But it only further served to make things confusing for Lena.

Then, Kara left before Lena could decide what she wanted to do about any of it.  

Becoming friends with Alex complicated everything for Lena. Alex loves Kara more than anyone else in the world, not always in ways that are healthy for her, which isn’t something that is easy to bring up since it’s clear that Alex knows how much of her life is wrapped up in her sister. It’s almost not worth discussing. Alex is aware of how little of her life is reserved for herself—or was. Lena has never once voiced it, but part of her thinks that the temporary separation from Kara is good for Alex. It’s forcing her to figure out what her life looks like when she is doing things for herself, not for her sister. Once Kara comes back hopefully it will be a more balanced relationship on both their ends.

No one expected her to be gone for a full year, though.

“Which flavor do you want?” Eve asks as the two of them walk up to the ice cream counter.

“Belgian chocolate,” she decides.

“Oooh,” Eve peers over to look at all of the options, her eyes wide and excited. It reminds Lena of Kara. Or maybe she’s just been thinking about Kara too much lately.

“Mint chip,” Eve decides after a moment’s deliberation. “I always look at all of them and think I’ll get something else, but I always get mint chip.”

Lena smiles and pays, despite Eve reaching towards her purse for money. “I said _I’d_ treat you. Isn’t that how these types of bribes work?”

The boy behind the counter’s eyebrows tick upwards, but he says nothing and passes them their cones. Eve laughs.

“Oh sure, thanks Mom,” she teases. “Very good bribe.”

The boy looks even more confused.

…

…

Kara sends her third message a full year to the day after she left. Lena isn’t sure if she planned it or not, but she finds Alex in her apartment in a similar state as she had after Kara’s first message.

“Fuck,” Alex hisses, swiping at her eyes. She’s not pretending not to be upset, they’re way past that stage of friendship, she’s just… sad. “Apparently things in Krypton are shitty.”

“I thought it wasn’t actually Krypton anymore?”

“It’s not. I’m just used to saying that and not used to saying NewArgofuckingCity,” she says, bitter. She presses her palms down into the tops of her knees and closes her eyes. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not really,” she says. Turning and suddenly looking Lena directly in the eye she says, “Don’t let people be assholes to you Luthor. It’s not fine.”

“Okay,” Lena says, surprised at the fierceness to Alex’s tone.

“She got in a fight with her mom,” Alex explains, a beat later. She points towards the blurry blue image of Kara, frozen in front of them. “A bad one, apparently. It took months of tip-toeing around each other for them to have a screaming match about you know, her mom putting people into prison without trials, imprisoning her own twin sister, ignoring the fact that their planet was gonna blow up until they couldn’t anymore, and saving Kara and Kal and leaving most everyone else to die.”

“Wow,” Lena says. “I thought I had issues with my mother.”

Alex laughs, rising to get a glass of water. The only difference from the last time that Lena found her after Kara’s message is that Alex actually called Lena to come, and she’s not drunk. Lena is… intensely proud of her. She doesn’t voice it, because she knows it would only make Alex embarrassed and uncomfortable, but she does reach over and grab her hand and squeeze tightly when she sits back down and hands Lena some water. The message gets across, Alex face twists uncomfortably for a flash and then she smiles, sheepish, and squeezes back. She pulls away and gulps at her water.

“Yeah, honestly, the two of you are pretty similar. I get why you became friends now.”

Lena presses herself back into the couch and doesn’t respond.

“I can play it if you want. Or — I won’t play all of it actually. I don’t think Kara would want me to, but there’s one part—”

“You don’t have to—”

And then the image of Kara is moving. She tucks her knees up to her chest and it’s evident that she has been crying. She doesn’t move to swipe away her tears the way that Alex usually does, she lets them fall, unabashed. “I really miss you,” her voice croaks. “I miss _Earth._ Which is really weird. I spent all this time missing Krypton and… I don’t feel like I belong here anymore,” she says, barely above a whisper. “All of my old friends who are still here are like… twenty years older than I am now. My dad’s not here… my mom is… overly diplomatic or pretending that everything is just _normal_ half the time when it’s _not._ I miss you, and Eliza, and Winn,” she shifts, putting her knees down and sitting cross-legged. “I miss Lois,” her face twists, not quite a frown as she ponders something. “You know… my mom actually kind of looks like Lois. Or, the other way around? Or maybe I’m just going crazy because I miss you all and don’t have any pictures with me. Rao, that was dumb. Why didn’t I bring any pictures!?”

Alex laughs. “I feel like I told her to.”

“Sounds like you.”

The image of Kara shifts again, somber. “I miss J’onn and James and Clark and Lena.”

Lena is both surprised and touched to hear her name. She knows that Alex has told Kara that Lena is aware of her dual identities in one of her messages. But as far as Lena knows, they’ve never addressed it beyond Kara responding with both relief and guilt.

“I miss everyone,” she goes on to say. “Being here alone is so weird. But… my mom is alive,” she says, awed by it. “I spent thirteen years thinking she was dead and she’s not. I feel like I can’t just… wave that away. Ugh,” she groans, dropping her face into her hands. “I hate this. This isn’t going to get to you for months and I want to just actually talk to you. I’m sorry. I’m just… sad and missing everyone right now. I swear it’s also good being here. I had my favorite dessert from when I was little yesterday and it was just as good as I remembered, and I cried so hard about it that my mom almost had to carry me to bed. Which was both very embarrassing and kind of nice. Anyway, I should go. My mom is waiting to go get dinner. I love you,” she says, blowing a kiss and then cutting out.

Lena says nothing, just turns her hand so that her palm is up. Alex glances down and clasps it. The two of them sit there in silence and sip at their water, hands entwined.

…

…

“I think, maybe I’m ready to try fostering again,” Alex says, a few weeks later, out of the blue.

Lena is about to send a firebolt at a mind flayer and drops her dice before she means to. It’s a two. “Shit,” she mumbles. When she glances up, James is staring at Alex, not paying any attention.

“Really?” he asks, then catches Lena’s eye and mouths, _reroll in a minute._ Lena shrugs, she would have taken the two, but she’s certainly not going to argue.

“Are you sure?” Lena asks Alex.

She only smiles in response. A real one. Full of excitement. “Yeah, I am. Roll again, I’m feeling lucky.”

“ _I’m_ the one rolling,” Lena counters, “your luck doesn’t have much to do with it.”

“ _I’m_ in your party,” Alex says, and reaches over and holds Lena’s other hand. “Also, this. Roll again.”

Lena rolls her eyes instead, but then Winn and Eve glare at her until she finally picks up her dice again, both of them worried and apprehensive that they are not going to get out of this fight alive. Alex grins at her and squeezes.

Lena rolls a natural nineteen. Winn and Eve erupt in cheers and Alex smirks. “Told ya.”

…

…

The whistling noise grows and Lena’s fingers on her keyboard freeze.

She only has seconds to react, but she manages to dive down underneath her desk as the object crashes through the window and then explodes. Lena is gasping for breath, the air growing toxic with… something. She crawls out from underneath the desk and pushes herself out onto the balcony, trying to get away from the smoke. As she moves, she grabs her scarf and quickly soaks it with her bottle of water, pressing it against her mouth as she crawls, choking her way towards the fresher air. She can hear Eve screaming her name.

“GET BACK,” Lena orders, as loudly as she can.

There is pounding on the door and commotion from down on the street. The smoke in her office turns a horrifying neon green and Lena tugs the scarf up tighter. _She wishes Kara were here._ It might be the first time in over a year that Lena has wanted Supergirl around, other than wishing for the satisfaction of directing her anger at Kara in person. A little part of her feels guilty at that. She doesn’t want their relationship to consist of Kara saving her life and Lena being angry and lied to the rest of the time. But the part of her that is pure panic overrules that logical part of her brain. The smoke is growing and this scarf isn’t doing much and Lena needs to get herself out of here _now._

Alex comes bursting through the door to her office donned in a full hazmat suit with about twelve agents behind her. “LENA!” she screams, her voice distorted from the mask.

Lena coughs and waves. “Over here,” she says, it comes out in a croak. She’s getting dizzy.

Alex is at her side in an instant, covering her head with some kind of blanket that Lena is going to have to ask what material it consists of if this poison doesn’t end up killing her slowly, because it works much better than the scarf. Alex carefully hauls Lena up into her arms. She struggles far more to do so than her sister would, but she manages to carry Lena out to the relative safety of the lobby and into an ambulance with all of the same Danvers determination that Lena has grown familiar with.

Alex rips off the mask as EMTs quickly pull Lena into their cab. “I thought you weren’t a field agent anymore,” Lena says, before one of the men shoves an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose.

Alex makes a noise that could mean anything and then helps Eve up into the cab. “Stay with her, get yourself checked out,” she orders. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

The doors close. Eve sits shaking on a bench and Lena tries to reach for her but finally, her body gives out and she loses consciousness.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the cliffhanger...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i headcanon ollie to look like [this kiddo](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bka90s9np_o/?hl=en&taken-by=austinilinguini) named [ austin from hiho kids](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQKrca9tZjI). you may take or leave that as you will.

By the time that Alex makes it to the hospital, Lena is pushing a nurse away and demanding to sign whatever she needs to in order to be released. Alex hisses underneath her breath and barrels her way over to them.

“Let them check you,” she orders.

“I _did,_ ” Lena counters. “I’m fine.”

Alex glances over at the nurse, who presses her lips together and shrugs. “Go lie down,” Alex says, pushing Lena back towards the bed.

“Alex, I have a million things to do—”

“Someone threw toxic shit into your office Luthor!” Alex hollers. Realizing how many people turn their heads and look over at them, she quickly lowers her voice. “Will you for once just let them take care of you? Please?”

“We really only need to run one more test,” the nurse interjects. “She does seem to be alright now that she’s conscious. The water on the scarf was quick thinking. If you hadn’t done that, we might be having a very different conversation right now.”

“One test,” Lena acquiesces after Alex glares at her spectacularly.

Alex shuffles her weight back and forth, sort of bouncing between her feet with her arms crossed as the nurse wheels Lena out of the room. Her phone starts ringing and she frowns at the unfamiliar number. “Hello?”

“Alex? It’s Eve.”

“Eve!” Alex whips around starts looking down the halls. “Where are you?”

“Um… I think I’m on the third floor? They said I was okay to leave but they won’t tell me where Lena is, and I don’t know what—”

“She’s okay,” Alex says quickly. “A nurse and I just convinced her to take one more test to be sure, but she seems alright. I’ll come find you, hang tight.”

By the time Alex gets Eve and comes back to Lena’s room, she’s there scribbling away on a piece of paper that Alex guesses are discharge papers. Alex looks over at the nurse who nods. “Test was negative, but she’s going to be a bit groggy for the rest of the day. No alcohol, no driving, and someone should stay with her tonight.”

“That’s not nec—”

“I will,” Alex cuts Lena off. “Thank you,” she says to the nurse. To Eve and Lena, she says, “Car’s out front.”

They drop Eve off at her apartment and Lena promptly orders her to take the rest of the week off, despite her protests. She also texts James and tells him not to let Eve sneak into CatCo either, pointedly staring at Eve as she does so. Eve sighs and climbs out of the car. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Get some sleep,” Alex says.

Lena insists on going back to L-Corp.

Alex is unable to talk her out of it and begrudgingly pulls up to the curb and walks back inside with her. The DEO agents cleared it out, and the only people currently inside are three technicians, two DEO scientists, and Winn. It’s eerily quiet for a huge corporate building.

Lena jerks to a stop partway through the lobby and Alex knocks into her. “What?” she says, after righting herself.

“They…” Lena is staring at a spot on the floor. “They cleaned?”

“Um…” Alex looks around her. “I guess? Is that bad?”

Lena’s shoulders tense and she grits her teeth. Alex watches her spine straighten and her face slips into a neutral mask. “It’s fine,” she says, too tight, and then clomps upstairs with purpose. Alex chases after her.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“Nothing.”

“Lena—”

“They cleaned the scuff mark. It’s fine. It was going to happen eventually I suppose.”

“What? What scuff mark?”

Lena walks into her office and grabs a bottle of water, chugging half of it before she says. “Lex and I were skateboarding in the lobby waiting for my father when I was… about seven or so. He took us along on his business trip—he worked out of Metropolis most of the time and only came to National City a few times a year—anyway, Lex got hurt. We had to take him to the hospital and it was… the most kind I’ve ever seen my father be to him that I could remember. He never cleaned the mark. No one was allowed to. I couldn’t bring myself to do it either, but, here we are.”

“Shit,” Alex mumbles. “Lena I’m—”

“It’s _fine,_ ” Lena insists. “It really was just a scuff mark. I don’t need it to be there. I just… somehow couldn’t be the one to get rid of it. So, in a way, this is good.”

Alex isn’t wholly convinced but she nods and leans against the wall, watching as Lena stares at the chaotic remains of her office. The glass is still shattered everywhere, they have to be careful with their steps. The poison left a grimy residue on the walls that they probably shouldn’t breathe in for long, and Lena’s papers and things are strewn everywhere.

“I guess I’m just always going to have people trying to kill me, then,” Lena says with a sigh.

“Don’t be paranoid,” Alex tells her. She moves to open her mouth and say something clever, or calming that will make Lena feel better, but Lena turns around and beats her to it.

She gives Alex a long, cool look, and then gestures sweepingly at the wreckage around them. “It’s not paranoia when they really are all out to get you, I believe is the phrase.” And then — Alex can’t say what it is, exactly, how she’s so sure, but she watches the way that Lena’s face freezes, the way her eyes go distant and a bit unfocused, and she knows that it’s all just hit her, the weight of what’s happened here. Her shoulders shake, for a flash of a second and then she balls her hands into fists. “I need my tablet and my purse,” she says tightly.

Alex jumps to find them, wanting to get Lena out of this room as soon as possible. She’s starting to sway a little, and Alex can tell that she’s exhausted.

“Found it,” she declares, nabbing the IPad and shoving it into Lena’s purse. “Let’s get out of here,” she holds her hand out, more to help Lena step past the large mound of glass directly in front of her than anything, but Lena grips it and doesn’t let go once they start walking. She is sort of leaning on Alex, using her body to keep herself fully upright, and Alex wraps one hand around her and lets her continue holding on to the other as they make their way back to the car.

“You don’t have to sta—”

“Someone threw poison at you. I’m staying.”

Lena doesn’t argue further.

It takes them a good half hour to make it to Lena’s hotel due to the traffic. Alex helps her upstairs and panics for half a second when Lena sways, and she worries that she is going to have to help her get undressed and ready for bed, but Lena grits her teeth and shakes her head. Her eyes are razor focused for a minute. “I’m fine.”

“I’ll make tea,” Alex declares as Lena shuffles off to her bedroom.

By the time she has two mugs steeped Lena still hasn’t come back out, and Alex goes looking for her. If she’s passed out and hit her head or something, Alex is going to kill her and then never forgive herself. Instead, she finds Lena breathing heavily, in nothing but her underwear, head between her knees as she rests back against the tub with a t-shirt halfway on. Alex’s eyes immediately flick down to Lena’s exposed chest and she glances up at the ceiling the second a nipple burns into her retinas.

“Are you—” she croaks.

“I got dizzy,” Lena says. “The nurse said it’s normal.”

“Want help?” Alex asks, eyes glued to the shampoo in the shower somewhere past Lena’s head.

Lena makes a frustrated noise and then she sighs and kicks her feet, looking twelve and twenty and ninety-five all at once. “Yes please,” she mumbles.

Alex’s face grows hot and she curses at herself for making this any more awkward than it needs to be. Someone tried to _kill_ Lena today. Someone managed to actually hurt her; the proof is the way that she is currently slumped and helpless in front of Alex. She cannot be so much of a horndog that she is checking out her friend while Lena needs her help. That can’t be Alex’s life. She already got drunk and kissed her a few weeks ago and that embarrassing ordeal hangs over all of their interactions enough already.

Alex crouches down in front of Lena and helps her untangle the t-shirt and get it over her head. She keeps her gaze firmly on the shirt and Lena’s elbows, and the moment that it’s past her stomach Alex slumps back and sits on top of the closed toilet seat to put a few more inches between them.   

“Thank you,” Lena says quietly.

“No problem. You’ve taken care of me before,” Alex says, remembering the way that she became inconsolable after each of Kara’s messages. “I’m just returning the favor Luthor. That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right,” Lena says, her voice small, and Alex watches as she closes her eyes for a long moment and doesn’t move.

…

…

She wakes up with a crick in her neck.

Glancing over at the time on the wall, it’s well past nine. Alex shoves the blanket off of her and rolls off the couch and onto the floor with a thud. She did not time that well. Her feet were supposed to land her upright. That’s embarrassing. Thankfully, from the looks of things, Lena is still sound asleep in her bedroom.

Alex pushes herself up off the floor, folds the blanket and sets it on top of the pillow. She runs her fingers through her hair and goes to make some coffee. Lena hasn’t been to the grocery store in a while, but she has yogurt and frozen berries. Alex grabs a bowl, mixes in the berries, some plain Greek yogurt, chia seeds and wheat germ. She places it on the counter by the fresh pot of coffee and leaves Lena a note.

_EAT ME!! Don’t go into work. There are two agents stationed in the lobby who are going to follow you wherever you go, so I’ll know if you go there. If Eve gets the day off, so do you. Call me or Winn if you need anything. We’re going to find whoever did this. I swear._

_-Alex_

She grabs her coat, tugs it on, and heads off to work, texting Winn and asking him to please grab extra coffee and bagels on his way.

…

…

Maxwell _fucking_ Lord is responsible for the hit on Lena.

Alex definitely punches him one too many times once they finally find him, a week later. That broken jaw is going to come back and bite her in the ass, probably, but she can’t bring it in herself to care. The smirk is wiped clean off his face as they slap cuffs on his wrists and drag him into custody. This time, there is enough evidence that he’s not going to be able to throw money at the problem.

Not to mention, Lillian Luthor is still out there running around like a maniac, and she is a shitty mother on her best days, but she has basically straight up murdered anyone who has tried to hurt Lena since she disappeared after sort of helping them a while back. If Lord does manage to weasel his way out of this one, he’s got a glaring red target on his back.

…

…

Jerry-Not-Jeff shows up at her apartment, grinning.

It’s been months since he came and took Ayla back to live with her mom. She sent Alex a thank you note for the stroller and for… everything. She promised to try and send her updates on how they’re both doing every year or so. For now, they’re moving to Boston to be near Ayla’s great aunt and her mom’s new job. Alex got a picture of Ayla playing in snow for the first time last week. They both look really happy.

Now, Jerry bustles inside with his usual slightly frazzled energy. He has a stack of files underneath his arm that rivals some of Lena’s and there’s a mustard stain on the top of his button-down, but he’s smiling at her wide. He tells Alex that there’s a little boy named Oliver who has been fostered twice already since his parents died four years ago, but neither situation ended up working out for the long term. He knows that Alex’s main goal is adoption and not long-term fostering. He thinks the two of them will click, based on what he knows of Alex and what he knows of Ollie.

“So, how about it?” he asks, as his phone starts going off.

“I… um, sure. I mean, yes. Yes.”

“Great!” he starts walking back towards the door. “We’ll have you foster him and see how it goes and I’ll be back to check in on you once a month. I have to go deal with an emergency with another child right now, but my colleague Angela will bring him over tonight,” he claps his hand down on top of Alex’s shoulder. “I really think this is going to be good Alex,” he says, sincere.

She smiles back at him and then he’s gone.

“Shit, shit, shit shit, shit,” Alex mumbles and grabs for her phone.

…

…

Lena shows up in almost record time. Along with two men who are carrying a twin mattress, Eve, whose arms are full of bags, and groceries in tow.

Alex blinks. “I—”

“Put the mattress in the room to the left of the bathroom please,” Lena directs and bustles right in past Alex, setting the groceries down on top of the counter.

“This is… not what I asked you to do,” Alex says as the men just walk inside.

Eve stops in front of her and rolls her eyes. “I feel like at this point, you should have expected it. The sheets aren’t washed yet, where’s your laundry room? The basement?”

“Um… yes.”

Eve sets two of the bags down and then zips off with the sheets after winking at Alex.

The men walk out of the room. “Anything else you need Miss Luthor?” one asks.

“No thank you, Kyle. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” he says, and then they’re off.

Alex rounds on Lena. “What the hell?” she asks. “I asked if you’d come calm me down and maybe bring me a sandwich.”

“I did,” Lena says, and she walks over, grabs Alex’s shoulders and bends forward to kiss her on the cheek but she sort of jerks in surprise at the contact and Lena ends up catching the corner of Alex’s mouth. Alex can taste her chapstick. Lena quickly pulls back and hands Alex a sandwich that smells _great._ “This is me, calming you down and feeding you,” she says, and then turns to begin unpacking groceries.

“You know that I like you right?” Alex asks. Lena pauses with her hand halfway into the reusable grocery bag. “We’re friends,” Alex says. “You don’t need to buy me stuff. I’m still going to be your friend regardless. I don’t give a shit about your money Luthor.” She opens her mouth to say something else, but she can’t make it work.

Lena takes a long moment before she meets Alex’s eye, but when she does, she’s smiling with watery eyes. “I know,” she grabs the eggs from the bag and turns to put them in the refrigerator.  “Eat your sandwich,” she orders and goes right back to her task. Multiple items get put away, and then Lena wraps her hair up into a bun, kicks off her heels, pushes her sleeves up and starts cooking something that already smells incredible.

Alex eats her sandwich quietly and watches her. She doesn’t need to ask once where anything is, all the utensils have been put away by Lena herself, at this point. She does more cooking in this apartment than Alex does. To be fair, Alex doesn’t do much cooking at all, so Lena doesn’t have to work very hard to surpass that goal, but still. She shows up a lot and takes care of things without being asked—sometimes even if she has been told specifically that she doesn’t need to. Alex has seen her do the same thing with James, Winn, and Eve, to a lesser extent. Grand gestures seem to be how she shows friendship when she isn’t sure what else to do.

“Do you like this?” Lena asks, and holds out a spoon for Alex to taste.

“God, yeah,” she groans. Lena’s fingers underneath her chin flex and then disappear. “What is it?”

Lena shrugs, like it’s nothing special. “Pasta sauce.”

“Fucking _great_ pasta sauce,” Alex counters. A small grin spits out onto Lena’s face, and then she turns back to the stove.

Alex hasn't—hasn't thought of it before, and she doesn't want to think of it now, but maybe—

—maybe it's not that Lena needs  _her_ , so much as she just—needs to be needed. She wants her there maybe, but Lena doesn't need her. She's never going to need her, and Alex, she needs Lena, definitely, and  _Jesus_ , maybe she even—

She looks over at Lena, and it's like the world has suddenly shifted itself without her consent.

The wonder grows, till it’s too big to hold in and she thinks she might throw up from it. It’s an accident, but when she runs her tongue over her bottom lip, she can still taste Lena's chapstick in the corner of her lip. It tastes like papaya. Like the one that Alex bought for her last week.

And Alex thinks:  _fuck_.

…

…

Ollie-Not-Oliver is a six-year-old shy bundle of joy.

His deep brown eyes are half hidden from the long dark hair falling into his face as he looks up at Alex from behind Angela’s legs. “Hi,” Alex waves and he cracks a smile.

“Hi,” he waves back.

“Hello,” Lena says, looking even more awkward and unsure than she did when she first met Ayla.

Angela starts talking about specifics and Alex is sort of tuning her out again. She knows this time that the information will be in the file Angela leaves for her. She catches, _grandparents were still living back in the Philippines at the time of the car accident,_ and _passed away shortly afterward,_ and, _no other family left._ They show her the room that is now set up with Ollie’s bed, fresh sheets and blanket ready to go. Alex watches Ollie take in the apartment and doesn’t quite hear what it is that Angela says but glances up quickly at the strange inhale and nervous laugh that comes out of Lena in response to it.

“Oh… we’re actually not… um…”

Alex looks over at Angela. “If you’re planning on filing for adoption while unmarried there is a different process. Different paperwork. Jerry can get it, but you’ll need to let him kno—” her phone rings and she holds up a finger before turning to answer it.

Unmarried? Alex looks over at Lena, who might be having some sort of stroke, and then back down at Ollie, who is smiling back up at her. _What?_ Alex mouths at Lena who sort of just shakes her head and laughs again, this time less in a panic and more genuinely amused, which seems like a good sign.

“It looks like I’m needed to help Jerry right now too,” Angela says, hanging up and addressing them with a strained face. “I’m sorry to leave you in such a hurry. Everything looks good here, and this isn’t your first time, so I’m going to leave you my number as well as Jerry’s in case you need anything tonight or later on this week. He should be back on Friday to make sure things are going well,” she crouches down. “I’ll see you later Ollie, okay?”

He gives her a thumbs up, high fives her, and then she’s gone.

“So, are you getting married?” Ollie asks, looking between them both.

“ _What?”_ Alex gapes.

“She thought we were um, involved,” Lena says tightly.

“Me and you?”

Lena nods but does not look at Alex.

“Can I come to the wedding?” Ollie asks. “I’ve never been to one. I could be the bear!”

“There’s no wedding. We’re not — Lena is my best friend. Basically.”

“Oh,” Ollie looks disappointed. “You don’t live here too?”

“No,” she says. “But I’m here a lot.”

Ollie considers this, then shrugs. “Okay. What smells good?”

“Lena made pasta.”

“Can I have some?”

“Sure,” Alex pulls a stool away and helps him climb up, when she turns to look back over at Lena, she’s pressing her lips together to try and stop herself from laughing. Alex is so relieved that Lena doesn’t seem to be offended by Angela’s assumption—especially after her moment of revelation earlier—that she actually _does_ burst out in a fit of laughter. Lena joins her and after a minute, so does Ollie, though he doesn’t know what exactly they are all laughing at.  

Soon, they’re laughing at the way that Ollie inhales his pasta and gets sauce all over his face and in his hair. Then, they’re laughing as he splashes around in the bathtub and pretends to be a mermaid, giggling when Alex lathers up his hair with shampoo and makes his long hair into a tall mohawk of suds.

He’s asleep quickly after that, Alex suspects it has a lot to do with the exhaustion of travel and excitement and change. Lena hovers out in the hallway as Alex reads him a book—from a stack that Lena had Eve buy—and then tucks him in.

Alex closes the door almost all the way shut and leans against the wall, looking over at Lena. “Thank you,” she whispers.

“For what?”

Alex smiles, then shrugs. “Everything I guess.”

Lena tips her head to the side, expression soft and surprised. The smile that spreads across her face doesn’t really reach her eyes. Alex doesn’t know what to make of it, so she holds her hand out and grips Lena’s hand, squeezing tightly.

…

…

Ollie is a handful.

He’s _great,_ but he’s a bundle of energy that almost never stops. A day after Jerry stops in to check on them, Alex packs him up and the two of them hop on a plane to visit Eliza for the weekend. Ollie thinks takeoff is the coolest thing ever, but sitting still in his seat is a difficult challenge until Alex pulls up a movie on her IPad for him. Eliza meets them at the airport and suddenly Ollie is shy in a way Alex hasn’t really seen him much in the last five days. Granted, it’s mostly been the two of them getting to know each other after a brief introduction to James, Winn, and Eve, but, still, it takes a bit of coaxing to get the giggly little boy back.

Eliza has made chocolate chip cookies, which definitely helps matters.

Ollie is fascinated by the childhood pictures of Alex and Kara. And—that brings up more questions about this specter of an aunt who is _traveling for work_ all over again. Eliza’s face goes pinched and Alex forgets how much she must be missing Kara too. How strange it must be to raise a child and then have them disappear off the entire planet for almost a year and a half. Alex looks over at Ollie, who she has known for exactly five days now and then turns and hugs her mother fiercely.

“What’s this for?” she asks, surprised but moving to hug her back.

“Everything,” Alex shrugs.

Ollie looks up at them and grins. “Me too?”

Alex and Eliza each lift an arm up in unison. “Get in here,” she says, and Ollie slams into their legs, laughing.

It takes forever to get him to fall asleep that night. He’s jumping on Kara’s bed and asking for a _fourth_ story when Alex just flops down onto her own bed and groans. “Ollie, it’s ten-thirty.”

“One more!” he begs. “Just one.”

“You said that the last time.”

“I promise this time!”

Alex sticks her hand out, pinky up, her face still mushed into her blankets. “Pinky promise,” she asks, voice muffled.

“Okay!” he leaps off the bed and locks pinkies with her, then climbs on top of her back. He is not shy once he has decided that he likes you. You become a personal jungle gym of sorts. Alex can’t wait till he’s comfortable with James. He’ll find out that he can basically be seven feet tall if he gets up on James’s shoulders.

It’s strange, to sleep in her childhood bedroom with Ollie in Kara’s bed. She doesn’t for a second think that Kara would mind, but it’s odd to listen to someone else’s breathing. It takes her longer to fall asleep then she would normally.

When she wakes up, Ollie isn’t in the other bed anymore. Alex tiptoes downstairs and then follows the sound of whispers. He’s in the kitchen with Eliza, the two of them attempting to make pancakes shaped like faces. Alex inherited her mother’s cooking, not her father’s, so they’re partly burnt.

“Smells great,” she says anyway, walking past Ollie and musing up his hair. She slides up on top of the counter and pours herself a cup of coffee, despite her mother’s frown.

“Look!” Ollie exclaims, “this one is a turtle.”

It looks nothing like any turtle Alex has ever seen. “Brilliant,” she grins and eats the whole thing.

…

…

“You’re… _so_ tall,” Ollie exclaims to James, for the fifth time.

“You’re… very short,” he says back.

“But I have awesome hair,” Ollie says and shakes his head back and forth.

“Yes, you do little man,” James laughs. “That’s bard hair,” he says, looking up at Winn. “He might be coming for your spot man.”

“What’s a bard?” Ollie asks, looking at the Player’s Handbook.

“Me,” Winn says. Pointedly. “I am the bard. You can be something else if you want.”

“Or, you can _also_ be a bard,” Alex says, whacking Winn when Ollie isn’t looking. “He’s _six_ dumbass. Be nice.”

“Can you sing?” Winn asks. “Bards have to sing.”

Ollie clears his throat, stands up straight, opens up his mouth and bellows. It takes all of Alex’s training to keep her face neutral and not to cover her ears at the completely off-pitch screech that comes out of him.

“Well…” Winn gulps. “Um… you got a solid pair of lungs kid. We can work with that. Somehow.”

Ollie grins. “Can I be a turtle?” he asks James. “I saw one in the book.”

“They’re actually called _tortles._ But sure! Winn is basically a cat and Alex is basically a dragon.”

“A _dragon!_ ” he cheers.

“A silver one,” Alex says.

“This game is so cool!”

…

…

Lena helps Alex enroll Ollie in kindergarten.

She also helps her start the official paperwork to adopt after Alex bursts into her office during her lunch break with food and panicking about all of the forms she has to fill out.

“I THINK I REALLY LOVE HIM,” she hollers, sweating and out of breath and absolutely panicking. “I THINK I WANT TO ADOPT HIM.”

“Obviously,” Lena says far too calmly for the urgency of this entire situation as far as Alex is concerned. “He’s amazing.”

“Oh god,” she bends over. “I think I might throw up. Okay. Okay. Okay,” Alex rights herself and starts pacing. “There are _so_ many forms and I do not have a lawyer. I should have a lawyer. I’m thirty. I should have a lawyer, shouldn’t I? Oh god, I’m a terrible adult. They’re never going to give him to me.”

“You’re panicking a lot more than you historically do.”

“Rude.”

“Sit down.”

“Lena, I need—”

“I have multiple lawyers.”

“Of course, you do. You’re a much better adult than me.”

“Well. I’m a year older,” she smirks, reaching for her phone and dialing. “I gained a lot of maturity in that year.”

Alex rolls her eyes and throws a balled-up napkin at Lena’s head.

…

…

Ollie _loves_ school.

His teacher is basically a badass hippie, which Alex didn’t think was a thing that worked, but turns out, it is. He makes a few friends and after a solid three months, he is doing really well. Jerry tries to high five Alex after he pops in to check on them, he’s so earnest about it that Alex just throws him the bone, Ollie grinning and holding up both his hands for seconds.

Soon, his bedroom is full of drawings of turtles and Dungeons and Dragons things. Also, mermaids. It actually looks like a kid’s room. One that lives there, not just one who is visiting.

Dealing with a six-year-old is a lot different than dealing with a baby. Ollie is a happy and flexible kid, but he’s still a kid who’s had a lot of upheaval in the last four years, and everything isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

The day that J’onn comes back, Ollie is screaming in Alex’s ear as she tries to get him to let go of her leg and walk into the DEO elevator at the same time. It’s one of those mornings where he just, will not do anything Alex tells him to. He wouldn’t get up for school. He wouldn’t eat his breakfast. He wouldn’t hold her hand when they walked down the sidewalk. And he is now refusing to go to the daycare floor. This is about the third or fourth time a temper tantrum like this has happened, but they are getting a little easier to manage with each one.

Jerry says they’re normal. Kids test their new guardians to see if they’ll bail if they’re “bad.” Alex would really love it if this phase could be over and done with any day now.

The doors open and J’onn stands there looking back at her. “Alex,” he says, grinning, then glancing down at the little monster who is screaming like a banshee. “This must be the famous Oliver.”

Ollie’s scream cuts short and he shoves some hair out of his face. “It’s Ollie,” he grumps. “Who are you?”

J’onn crouches down and holds out his hand. “I’m J’onn. It’s very nice to finally meet you. Alex has told me nothing but good things.”

Ollie looks up at Alex skeptically. “This is sort of my… step-father? Boss?” she explains.

J’onn beams, laughing and Ollie finally detaches himself from her leg. “I’m her sort of son,” he says and Alex’s heart flips and she cannot stop the huge grin that splits out onto her face. “Does that make you my sort of grandpa?”

“Sort of,” J’onn grins.

“Then hi. Will _you_ give me ice cream?”

The grin falls off of Alex’s face.

…

…

They throw a welcome home party for J’onn.

Eliza flies in and they all collect at James’s apartment, since they’re used to doing so at this point, and Kara’s is still occupied by a sublet. (She’d given Alex permission in a message almost a year ago. It’s a quiet guy named Felix who Winn had run several background checks on. Alex had cleared out any and all relations to Supergirl before he moved in.)

It’s been two full years since he and Kara both left, now.

While everyone is congregated around the food, J’onn saddles up to Alex and tugs her into a soft hug. “I miss her,” he says softly. “I missed you too. I’m glad to be home.”

“Do you want your job back?” Alex asks him, deflecting.

J’onn sees right through it. “No. I promoted you. The job is yours.”

“So then… what are you going to do?”

“Be there if you need me. When you don’t… working at M’gann’s old place.”

“The bar that blew up?”

“It’s being renovated. Hopefully, it won’t be a dive anymore. I’d like to spruce the place up. Maybe a coffee shop type place in the daytime, more of a pub with food in the evenings.”

Alex pulls away from him a bit to look at his face. “Really?”

“The owner gave me a good deal,” he grins. “Aliens and humans all welcome. Occasional daycare can be provided in a pinch.”

Alex hugs him tighter. “I missed you a lot.”

He kisses her temple.   

…

…

Eliza is interrogating Lena.

Alex moves away from the conversation she had been having with J’onn and Winn and hurries over towards her mother. Ollie has used the back of the couch to his advantage and has managed to climb up onto Lena’s back.

“So,” Alex hears her mother say, “any romantic prospects in your life?”

Lena goes a bit pink but recovers quickly.

 _“Mom!”_ Alex hisses. “Leave my friends alone.”

“I’m just trying to get to know your _friends_ better,” Eliza says, pointedly. Alex frowns at her. “Is that a crime?”

“No,” Alex says, because she can’t think of a better response and now Lena is smiling at her in that way that sort of makes her legs feel like jelly.

From his place up on her back, Ollie smacks a wet kiss onto Lena’s cheek. “My social worker thought they were getting married,” he declares and Alex has never ever wanted to hurt a child before, but she might want to chuck Ollie out the window. If only Kara were here to catch him.

“Oh, _really?_ ” Eliza turns to Alex. “How interesting.”

“If they do, I get to be the ring bear. I could crawl down the aisle.”

“It’s not actually a bear dear,” Eliza says, “but that sounds very entertaining.”

Lena turns her head away from Eliza and meets Alex’s eye. Her eyebrow raises, and she smirks, eyes twinkling with amusement. It’s almost deliberately flirty, but that can’t be how she intends it to come across. Alex feels a twinge of desire pluck at her belly, as distinct and painful as the snap of an elastic band against her skin. She quickly looks over at her mother to squelch it.  

…

…

Alex hasn’t seen or heard much of Clark since Kara left, but he shows up on a Sunday night with Lois in tow, looking awkward and happy to see her.

“Oh,” Alex says eloquently. “Hi.”

“Hi Alex,” he smiles. “How are you?”

“Um, good. You?”

“Pretty good. Excited that James invited us to play this week. Hopefully, we can keep you all alive.”

“I won’t be keeping anyone alive,” Lois declares, pushing past Clark and wrapping Alex up in a hug. As always, Alex blushes in her presence. It’s still very annoying. “I’m terrible at this game,” Lois says as she pulls back. “Where’s the kid?”

“J’onn is babysitting.”

“Oh good. I swear a lot when I play this dumb thing,” Lois flits off to take the taco out of James’s hands.

Clark turns back and smiles conspiratorially at Alex. “She was responsible for two separate TPKs back when we played at the Daily Planet. Cat almost blinded her with the newspaper ink in retaliation. Perry almost had to suspend them both from work the next day.”

“Fun,” Alex deadpans.

“It was, actually. Lois is good at literally everything else. It’s nice to know I’m better at this than her.”

“What does she play as?”

“A horse,” Clark says, and then walks off leaving Alex very confused.

“What… like a druid?” she mutters. “What?”

Lois is sitting next to Lena, chattering away about something and gesturing with her hands dramatically. Lena looks over at catches Alex’s eye and mouths, _help me,_ but she’s smiling. Lois’s arm smacks out mid-sentence and nearly takes off James’s head in the process. Instead of apologizing, Lois winces and then asks, “Am I right or am I right Jimmy?”

“You usually are,” he says. “Not always.”

“Bullshit,” she whips around and glares at him. “Name one time I’ve been wrong.”

James and Clark eye each other.

“I know things about you both,” Lois warns.

“Okay,” James says, overly cheerful. “Let’s play!”

Lois flops down into the chair between Alex and Lena, wrapping her arm around Alex’s shoulders and pulling her close. Alex’s body reacts the same way it always does, and she does not make eye contact with Clark for the rest of the evening. Lena starts to frown.

“So, you’re a druid?” Alex asks once James is bringing everyone up to speed on the events of their last game.

“Huh?” Lois frowns. “No, I’m a horse.”

“But… wait…”

“Clark,” James says, cutting her off. “Will you tell everyone about your character?”

“Sure,” he says, cheerfully. “So, he’s a human sorcerer. Draconic,” he smiles at Alex. “I usually play him with some friends at the Planet.”

“He always plays humans,” Lois whispers. Her breath is hot on Alex’s ear and she shivers. Lena’s frown deepens.

“So,” James claps his hands together and sets out a terrifying 3-D map. “How do you all want to prepare?”

“Oh fuck,” Lois mumbles. “We’re all gonna die.”

…

…

They don’t all die, but it’s a near thing.

And yes, it is mostly Lois’s fault.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one switches povs, bc it was the easiest way to write it. 
> 
> this is _technically_ the last chapter, a short little epilogue thing will be added soon:) i was working like crazy bc this is my last week before i fly out to study abroad. i will do my best to get the last chapter up beforehand, but apologies if i don't make it. thank you for all your comments and kudos and support for this story, it was a lot of fun to write:)

Alex opens her apartment door, Ollie asking from the other room about her opinion on a blue or an orange shirt, expecting to find Winn on his way to pick them up and instead—

—it’s Kara.

“Hi Alex,” she says, a splitting, almost sheepish grin on her face, bouncing with excitable energy.

Alex just stares back at her in shock. She watches as Kara gulps in air and blinks to clear the stinging in her eyes and tries to look like a normal person making a social call and not someone who is on the verge of a breakdown, and that’s what sets Alex into motion. “Kara,” she breathes, opening her arms and tugging her into a fierce hug. Kara shakes against her frame, clinging just a smidge too tightly, unused to the practice—she’s been on a planet without her powers for two years now. Alex groans underneath the assault, teasingly, but Kara releases her in an instant, apologies quick on her tongue.

“Stop,” Alex laughs, “you’re fine.”

“BLUE OR ORANGE!?” Ollie hollers, impatient.

That’s when Alex notices the woman who is standing behind Kara. “Hello again,” Alura says, a warm but slightly awkward smile on her face.

Ollie slams into her legs before she can respond. “Alex!” he holds the shirts up, “which one?” noticing Kara and Alura he tucks himself closer until he gets a good look at Kara. “I know you!” he says, excited. “You’re Kara!”

“I am,” she smiles. “You must be Ollie.”

“That’s me!” he grins. “Do you like the blue one or the orange?”

Kara presses her lips together, seriously contemplating his question. For once in his life, Ollie waits patiently, holding up the shirts for her to inspect. “I think I like the orange,” Kara decides. “I like the turtle on it.”

Ollie tugs off his pajama top and pulls it on over his head. “Good choice,” he says. “Want some oatmeal?” he grabs Kara’s hand and pulls her inside.

She’s laughing, but quickly calls out, “Mom, do you want to try oatmeal?” over her shoulder.

Alura looks to Alex. “Come on in,” she offers.

“Thank you.”

Alex closes the door behind her and presses her forehead against it, breathing in and out slowly for a moment. Kara is back. It’s been two years. Alex is thirty now. She’s a foster mother. She’s a director of an entire branch of the government. She’s a level twenty Dragonborn rogue. She’s in love with her best friend, who used to be her sister’s best friend.

And her sister is finally back.

Alex has no idea how to parse all of the emotions that she is feeling, so, she presses everything but happiness and excitement down and goes to have breakfast with her family.

…

…

Lena lets herself into Alex’s apartment with her key—gifted a while back, when Alex asked her to stay with Ollie during an emergency at work and just never… taken back. She freezes midsentence at the sight of Kara and a woman who… sort of looks a little like an older Lois Lane, if she tilts her head and squints and thinks about it too hard. “Oh,” Lena blinks.

“LENA!” Ollie hollers and leaps off his stool. Lena only has seconds to drop her bag and catch him, reflexes that she has picked up in the last few months out of necessity. “I’m wearing my orange shirt,” he grins. “Kara picked it.”

“Very nice,” Lena says, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead and then setting him on the ground. “Hello Kara,” she says, after Ollie has scurried back over to his breakfast.

Kara pushes off of her stool, hands clasped and fidgeting in front of her stomach. She’s clearly forcing herself to look Lena in the eye, nervous in a way that Lena remembers, but there’s an underlying guilt to her expression. Lena honestly thought that this would be a little satisfying when it finally happened, but it just feels uncomfortable. Two years is a long time to hold on to anger, especially without the product of your anger there to direct it towards. Now that Kara is in front of her… Lena just misses her friend and wants it to be over.

“Lena, I’m—”

“It’s good to see you,” she says, cutting her off. She might want it to be over, but she is not ready to have this conversation before coffee, in front of Kara’s mother and Ollie.

“I — you too,” Kara fidgets with her hands again; they go up and push her glasses further up her nose. For the first time, the glasses look like they don’t belong on her face, like Kara is surprised to find them there. She seems bewildered to see Lena, as well, but doesn’t comment on it. Lena walks over to pour herself a cup of coffee—her coffeemaker has finally died on her, and she has yet found the time to replace it. She doesn’t want to send Eve on arbitrary errands that don’t have anything to do with work. When she turns around, sipping her coffee and leaning back against the sink counter, Kara is looking at her with barely concealed surprise. She glances back and forth between Lena, Alex, and Ollie for a minute, but before she can open her mouth to say anything, Winn knocks loudly on the door and starts singing at a full belt.

Alex’s neighbors hate him.

Ollie screeches back his part of the song in response and runs to let Winn in, the two of them performing a little soft-shoe dance with a flourish. Alex and Lena clap, used to this routine by now, Alura and Kara react with varying levels of amusement and confusion.

Winn looks up and finally notices Kara properly, then bursts into tears and launches himself into her arms for a hug. Kara immediately starts crying happily as well and when Lena glances over at Alex, she is smiling and rolling her eyes.

“I missed you so much,” Winn wails. “The new Star Wars movie came out and I had to go with _Alex!”_

Alex rolls her eyes so hard Lena is momentarily worried they might get stuck in the back of her head.

…

…

Lena disappears the moment that she gets an opportunity.

Alex makes a face at her but Lena slips her purse over her shoulder, lifts her mug up in a salute, and heads off to work.

She brushes past Eve without quite taking in everything that she says, drops her coat and purse down and powers up her computer. It’s a Friday, so Lena only has four meetings today. She barely comes into work on the weekends anymore, so that excuse isn’t going to work to avoid Danvers family drama. Lena closes her eyes and presses the bridge of her nose.

Kara is back.

Lena throws herself into work and doesn’t think about it for the rest of the day.

…

…

Alex walks with Winn, Kara, and Alura as they drop Ollie off at school. He protests the entire way, making _almost_ solid arguments about why he should start his weekend early and hang out with his almost aunt.

Kara jerks when he says that, surprise and amazement and something else underneath that Alex can’t quite figure out; the idea of it feels strange. Alex has known how to read Kara’s emotions since she was sixteen years old, it feels wrong to be out of practice. There is a palpable distance between the two of them now, an awkwardness that hasn’t existed since the first year that Kara came to live with them. Alex hates it.

They drop Ollie off with promises to be back at the school at exactly three o’clock and not a minute later, and then the four of them make their way to the DEO. Winn asks Kara a million questions about space and Argo City and what she’s been doing for the last two years. The two of them slip back into their friendship easily. Alex and Alura walk a few steps behind, eyeing each other and making awkward and stilted small talk.

Alex wishes that Lena were here.

“Kara said that you’re planning to adopt?” Alura asks.

“Um, yeah. It’s a long process. Longer, if you're single and queer,” she rolls her eyes. Alura frowns. “But it’s fine,” Alex assures her. “Lena is helping. It’s going a lot faster than it normally would, I guess.”

“Well… let me know if I can help too,” Alura says. “I’m not exactly sure how I could,” she adds, laughing. “But, if I can…” she trails off.

Alex can see Alura throwing her a bone. Trying to, at least. It’s hard not to look at her and see Astra, though. And strangely… kind of Lois, now that she thinks about it? Which, Alex promptly shuts that thought out of her brain, for many reasons.

It’s not really fair to put expectations onto Alura when Alex doesn’t actually know her. She’s not Astra, and in truth, Alex didn’t really know her, either.

She just killed her.

Alex wonders if Alura knows that, if she and Kara sat down sometime in the last two years and had a conversation about how her sister killed her mother’s sister a while back. _God,_ Alex has no idea how to interact with this woman who is sort of family, but isn’t. She never quite got the hang of it, with Clark and the Kents, though she supposes at the time, that was more Clark’s fault than anyone else.

“Thank you,” she croaks. “That’s — I appreciate it.”

Alura is perceptive, she smiles, reaches out and squeezes Alex’s arm and then swiftly walks away and gives her a moment to collect herself. Alex breathes hard and tries not to think about the fact that having her sister back finally seems to be causing a hell of a lot more stress than excitement, but then Kara has grabbed her and tugged her into an empty room.

Of course, she has.

“I’m—” she keeps fidgeting, far more than she ever used to. Alex can tell that her senses are overloaded, just a bit. She sucks in a deep breath, rips her glasses off her face and squares her shoulders.

This isn’t going to be fun.

“I missed you so much,” Kara says and then Alex is enveloped in another crushing hug. It lasts far longer than her first one, without an audience eyeing them. Kara shakes and her tears fall this time, which causes Alex to break too. They cling to each other and cry for a good five minutes or so, and then they pull away almost at the same time, wiping their eyes and laughing. Alex thinks she is about to get a moment to sneak away, to find J’onn and let him and Kara have their emotional reunion, but Kara’s shoulders square again.

“There’s probably a lot that we should talk about,” she says, “now that we don’t have to wait a few weeks for an answer.”

“Yeah,” Alex laughs, it comes out bitter and Kara’s face dips into a small frown. Before she can say anything, Alex adds. “So, how long are you back for?”

“What?”

“How long are you… showing Alura around for?”

“I’m — Alex, we’re,” she looks distraught and confused, jumping forward she grips Alex’s hand tightly. “We’re _back,”_ she says, like it’s the most important thing she’ll ever say. “I’m home.”

The tension inside of Alex’s chest releases like a dam and a fresh wave of tears erupts, which is beyond annoying and Alex moans this through her gasps, causing Kara to laugh and knock into her. They’re both out of practice managing her strength, and they tip over. Kara’s reflexes are still top notch and she twists quickly, shifting her body underneath Alex’s and taking the brunt of the fall as Alex crashes down on top of her. They’re laughing too hard to breathe and it takes a good minute or two before they shift and sit down beside each other.

“I missed you,” Alex says, resting her head on Kara’s shoulder. The words don’t feel like they cover what she’s trying to convey properly. Alex missed her, an ache so acute, so sharp beneath her breastbone that it was like being stranded in a foreign land, homesick for your birthplace long after someone else has come along and stuck a flag in it and rearranged all the borders so that what used to be yours doesn't exist anymore. Kara understands, though. Kara understands exactly. She wraps herself around Alex and doesn’t move for a very long time.

“I was mad at you,” Alex admits, after a bit. “I tried not to be, and I — didn’t really talk about it with anyone, except Lena, a bit. But, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be,” Kara says. She tucks her knees up and holds them, turning her face to look Alex in the eye. “I’m sorry I left you.”

“No, that’s not… I didn’t mean it like that. God Kara, you deserved to go home and be with your mom. I just…”

“I get it,” she says.

“Why are you back?” Alex asks. Kara jerks at her words, like Alex has slapped her. “No, I didn’t mean — god, I’m _thrilled._ I just meant… why now, I guess?”

Kara shrugs. “My mom could tell that I was miserable and missed all of you and that I was staying for her and not because I wanted to be there. She said it was enough. She wasn’t going to let me be sad anymore. She’d already packed my things,” Kara’s voice goes rough. “I thought she was kicking me out,” she laughs, “but then I saw her bags. I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved. Argo City didn’t feel like home anymore,” Kara shrugs.

“So, Alura is staying too? Wasn’t she like… on some council or something?”

“She found a replacement that she trusts and trained them for weeks before she even told me that we were going home.”

“How are things between you two?” Alex asks. “You mentioned it was a little hard at first, but you seem pretty comfortable around each other now.”

“We’re pretty great now,” Kara agrees. “It took a few screaming matches for us to get there though,” she frowns.

“Does she, um, know about…” Alex swallows thickly. “Astra?”

Kara’s body tenses and then she nods.

“Does she know that I—”

“She’s not mad at you,” Kara says quickly. “I don’t know if she’ll want to talk to you about it, but probably since she wants to make sure that you two have a good relationship. She knows how much I love you. She doesn’t blame you, I promise.”

“Okay.”

“Um… does Lena… is Lena mad at me?”

“She might be? A little bit?” Alex admits. “But mostly I think, no. She missed you.”

“Does she… are you two…” Kara bites on her bottom lip, choosing her words carefully. “Ollie seems really comfortable with her.”

Alex’s heart beats a frantic staccato in her chest. “Yeah, he loves her. They do science experiments in L-Corp. She lets him blow things up in a controlled environment,” Alex laughs.

“Sounds like fun,” Kara says, her eyes twinkling. “And… you two?” she prods again. Alex may be slightly out of practice reading Kara’s emotions, but from the looks of things, Kara hasn’t lost her touch one bit. Alex wonders what gave her away. She hopes Lena didn’t notice too.

“We’re friends,” she says.

Kara bites at her lower lip harder, her knees still tucked up. “Yeah, I know that. I just meant…” she stares at Alex for a moment, then says. “It looks like she makes you really happy. I’m glad you guys are close,” and leaves it at that, waiting for Alex to respond.

She considers lying, for a moment. She considers keeping the charade up as she has been for months now, but, this is _Kara._

“I sort of… love her, a little,” she whispers. It sounds strange on her tongue. Unpronounceable. 

Kara’s face splits into a smile. “A little?”

“Shut up,” Alex says immediately.

“ _I_ love her a little,” Kara counters, poking at Alex’s side. “The blush on your face makes me think you love her more than a _little._ ”

“Shut up!”

“Oh, my goooood,” Kara squeals. “I go away for two years and you fall in love _and_ have a kid!”

“Shut _up!”_ Alex screeches.

Kara tackles her again, and then they’re just a mess of limbs, laughing and screaming like little kids.

Alura finds them. For a moment, Alex is embarrassed to be caught by her like this, but Kara just looks up at her mother and smiles and doesn’t move away from Alex at all. “Hi Mom,” she says. “Want in on the hug fest?”

“I don’t know if I necessarily want to lie on the floor,” she frowns. “But if you insist.”

“No,” Alex pushes Kara off of her. “We do not. This is all her fault,” Alex begins to push herself up off of the floor and finds that Alura is there helping her. She smiles at her in thanks. Neither of them moves to help Kara, who starts flinging her arms and legs around on the linoleum as if she were attempting to make a snow angel.

“God, you’re weird,” she mumbles.

“Learned it from you,” Kara counters, continuing to pretend to make a snow angel.

“I did not teach you to do that.”

“You literally did,” Kara says. “You pulled me out of bed at like five a.m. and pushed me into the snow to make snow angels.”

“Ok… yes,” Alex says. “But I didn’t teach you to flop around on the floor like an idiot.”

“Don’t call your sister an idiot,” Alura says.

Alex freezes, ready to turn and explain she didn’t mean it like that at all. To apologize for insulting Kara. But Alura is smiling at her fondly. She didn’t say, _don’t call my daughter an idiot,_ she said _your sister._ She said it the same way that Eliza does, reproachful and longsuffering, but fond. She said it like they’re all connected to each other.

Kara laughs from the floor and Alura rolls her eyes, and Alex finally breathes normally. Kara is back. Things might still be a bit weird for a while, but they’re going to be okay.

Finally.

…

…

Alex invites her to a welcome home dinner. Everyone is expected. Eliza is flying in as they speak, according to Alex.

“You have to come,” she says, but it sounds like she’s pleading with Lena, not ordering. “Eve too. I know that no one has outright said anything to her, but she knows. It’s dumb pretending she doesn’t, at this point.”

“I am a bit swamped with—”

“You are _not,”_ Alex interjects. “If you don’t want to come just say so.”

“Alex—”

“I’ll be very sad, but it’s fine. Also, though, you’re going to have to talk to Kara sometime. Because I love her and I lov—you’re my best friend, basically. Also, all of your friends are her friends, and she _was_ your best friend. So. Please?”

“I—”

“Also, to add just _one_ more thing to the guilting you pile, Ollie will be devastated and a total nightmare if you’re not there.”

Lena sighs. She was going to say yes about three reasons back, but that one is the kicker. “We did have plans to make tacos. He is taking my offer of cooking lessons far more seriously than I expected him to.”

“He is very excited about that, although I already told him that you two aren’t having cooking lessons tonight. I don’t expect you to feed my whole family. Also, we don’t have enough food or room in my apartment for everyone. We were gonna go out, if that’s okay?”

“Tell me the time and place,” Lena says, shutting her computer down.

“God, I love you,” Alex says. She clearly doesn’t realize or mean anything by it, because she immediately breezes into instructions for dinner without pause, and Lena overhears her calling something out to Ollie, and probably J’onn, from the sounds of things, but Lena has frozen in her spot, for a beat. “Lena?” Alex says, as if she has said it more than once. “Are you still there?”

“Yes,” Lena croaks. _Pull yourself together Ace,_ her brother’s voice echoes inside her skull. “I’m listening. Can I do anything before meeting you at the restaurant?”

“Um… no, you don’t have to—”

“What is it?”

“Really, it’s fine, J’onn can—”

“Alex,” Lena says, long-suffering. Alex still mostly hates asking for help.

“You are much closer to the airport than any of us at the moment,” she finally says. Lena can easily picture the way that she is biting at her lower lip and closing her eyes.

“What time does your mother’s flight get in?” Lena asks, making her way out through the lobby and towards her car.

“Hopefully in twenty minutes.”

“I’ll pick her up.”

“Lena,” Alex says, soft. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” she says, and hangs up.

…

…

Lena has only been alone with Eliza Danvers one other time, and that lasted approximately four minutes total before Ollie climbed up on her back and interrupted them.

Eliza seems only half surprised to see Lena standing there waiting for her. Lena is the one who blanches when Eliza smiles at her and then warmly pulls her in for a quick hug. “Thank you for getting me,” she says, sincere.

“Oh, it’s… no problem,” Lena stammers. She doesn’t have trouble interacting with most people, but it seems that the women of the Danvers clan all throw her out of whack. First Kara, then Alex, now Eliza. Lena isn’t particularly looking forward to navigating Kara’s birth mother, either.

God, what has she gotten herself into?

Lena offers to help Eliza with her bag and Eliza calls her a gentlewoman and laughs. She comments happily on the music Lena has playing, asks if she has met Alura yet, and smiles almost mischievously when Lena says something offhand about Alex and Ollie during their conversation.

She’s terrifying, basically.

Lena is relieved once they arrive at the restaurant and Eliza slips back into the restroom to freshen up. Less so once Eliza tugs her along.

“It’s so strange to think that she’s back,” Eliza says, patting her face dry with a paper towel. Lena pauses washing her hands. “With her mother.” Eliza is looking at herself in the mirror, not quite meeting Lena’s eyes. “Family is a funny thing,” she says and closes her eyes.

“That’s not usually the word I use,” Lena says, just shy of bitter. Eliza opens her eyes and Lena quickly turns off the faucet and tries to cover herself. “I only meant — it was a poor attempt at a joke, I’m sorry.”

Eliza turns away from the mirror, moving over towards Lena and gently grasping her by the shoulders. She looks deeply into Lena’s eyes. “It wasn’t funny,” she says, kindly. “I’m very sorry that your family turned out the way that it did. I suppose the only saving grace the both of us have is that you aren’t stuck with one family forever. It expands and grows as much as you do. A bit of awkwardness aside, ours seems quite nice overall,” she pats Lena’s shoulders and moves away towards the door, leaving her bowled over by the fact that Eliza includes _Lena_ in her definition of family.

Perhaps she misspoke.

Lena follows her out of the restroom and is greeted by James and Eve. James lets them know that the rest are on their way, and the servers are pushing tables together for them. The party is continually expanding.

“Clark and Lois will probably beat the rest of them here,” James says with a laugh. Lena freezes. She didn’t know that they were coming too.

“Speak of the devil,” James laughs brightly.

“Jimmy Olsen, I know so many things about you that I can put in print if I want to,” Lois says, as she walks over and leaps onto his back. She grins down at Eliza. “Hey Mama Danvers, sup?”

“Lois,” Eliza smiles, rolling her eyes. “Do forty-year-old women say, sup?”

“They do when they’re me. And when I’m teasing Jimmy, specifically. Usually mostly then.”

Clark walks over and pulls Eliza into a warm polite hug. Lena tries not to visibly bristle at his presence, but she notices the way that he keeps his distance and smiles at her non-threateningly. She must have given something away, some small bodily reaction that he is able to pick up on.

Lois is still on James’s back. “So, Luce is gonna be back in town soon…” she says, pointedly.

“Oh… really?” James’s posture changes, almost nervous looking. Lena smiles and prods at his side once Lois leaps off of him after letting out a loud squeal.

“LITTLE DANVERS,” she hollers and launches herself directly at Kara, who catches her in surprise. Reflexes coming right back.

“Lucy Lane, huh?” Lena whispers towards James.

“Oh hush,” he laughs. “I’m not… she’s probably moved on. It’s been like four years since we dated.”

Lena quirks her eyebrows and prods at him again. “Sure, maybe,” she shrugs. “Can’t hurt to find out, from the way you’ve gone all gooey.”

“Hey now,” James drops his voice, all teasing. “You wanna start talking about going gooey? Cause I can come at you, if you really wanna go there?” he nods over towards Alex, quirking his eyebrows up and grinning. Lena swallows thickly. She hadn’t realized she had been that obvious.

“Okay, dropping it,” she promises.

James loops his arm around her shoulders, tugging her into his chest and kissing her temple. “We’re a bit of a mess, aren’t we?”

“Just a bit,” Lena agrees. “But we look fabulous.”

James barks out a bright laugh, smoothing his purple button-down shirt. “That we do,” he grins.

The two of them make their way over to the large group and it takes quite a few minutes to get all of the hugging and handshaking out of the way before everyone is sat down and drinks and food are ordered. Lena was pushed between Alex and Lois in the shuffle, Kara directly across from her, squeezed in between Eliza and Alura. Lois keeps accidentally sipping Lena’s water instead of her own and Kara is trying to catch her eye in between fielding off everyone’s questions.

Lois scoots her chair closer to Lena’s after the food comes. Everyone has broken into mini-conversations that have some relation to the ongoing one, and the table is loud and confusing and despite it all, really lovely, in a strange way. “So,” Lois whispers, twirling pasta terribly without shame. “You and Jimmy are like, totally done, right?”

“Oh, um, yes,” Lena stammers. She has always held Lois Lane in great respect. She has followed Lois’s journalism since she was in high school, but she never thought that the woman would be this intimidating in person. Lena suspects it has more to do with who she has been sleeping with for years, and how familiar Alex and Kara are with her because of that. Not to mention, the crush Alex has clearly had on her since she was a teenager.

(Alex confessed that tidbit after the DnD game. Groaning when Lena brought it up—as casually as possible. “ _God,”_ she’d slammed her head down on the table. “How did I _not_ know that I was gay? Clark must have been laughing his ass off every time we went to the Kents for Christmas.”

Lena chuckled. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

Alex glared at her.

“I said _that_ bad,” Lena said, laughing until Alex picked up a throw pillow and chucked it at her head.)

Now, Lois stares at Lena, eye narrowed and cogs turning a mile a minute. Whatever she is searching for, she must find it, because she smiles and drinks some more of Lena’s water. “Cool, because Luce is still in love with him even if she won’t admit it, and I always thought they would find a way to work it out somehow.”

“I have a feeling they will,” Lena says, turning to look over at James.

“What about you?” Lois asks.

“We’re friends.”

“No, I got that. That’s not what I meant — I meant what about you and Danvers?”

Lena chokes on her salmon. “Sorry?”

“Alex,” Lois clarifies.

“I — don’t know what you’re—”

“Ohhh, okay, so we’re playing it like that?” Lois leans back, a bit of pasta sauce on her face that Clark reaches over, wipes, and continues on with his conversation to Winn without blinking.

“I’m not… playing it like anything,” Lena says, even she knows it’s unconvincing.

Lois’s eyebrows raise halfway to her hairline. “Ok, sure.”

“I’m not—” Lena sighs. “It’s complicated,” she says because Lois reads people like this for a living and she isn’t doing herself any favors in trying to convince her otherwise.

“How so?” Lois asks easily, mouth full of pasta.

Lena only snorts in response, then waves her hands across the entire table.

“Everybody here likes you,” Lois counters. “Is someone being an asshole to you?” her eyes narrow. “Is it Winn? I can have him thrown out of a window if you want, just say the word.”

“Winn is probably one of my best friends.”

Lois’s face scrunches up. “Really?” she turns and looks over at him mooning over her boyfriend. “Seems a little excitable to me, but yeah, he’s nice I guess.”

“Lois, I don’t think that we need to—”

“So, what is it then?”

“Alex is my _friend._ And she’s trying to adopt Ollie, and Kara only just got back, and… the two of us have a complicated relationship.”

“I know a thing or two about dealing with someone you love lying to you about their superhero identity,” Lois says, quiet and only half serious. Once Lena glances over and meets her eye though, she’s as serious as Lena has yet to see her.

“That’s not—”

“I know you have a lot more baggage with the whole… super thing and lying than I did at the time, but, still. If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Lena sighs and reached for her water glass, finding it empty. Lois passes over her own. “I’m not even really angry anymore,” Lena admits.

“Just talk to her,” Lois says. “Little Danvers is a great person and I love her, but the girl’s pretty strong headed and she makes mistakes. She probably should have told you a lot sooner, but I get why she didn’t. It can be hard for them, once you know. But it eventually gets way better, so, you two will be fine. You were friends before and you both love Alex, you’ll get over it.”

“I don’t _lov—_ ”

Lois grabs her water back and sucks the rest of it down, turning and leaning across the table to address Alura. “Do we kind of look alike to you?” she asks, cocking her head to the side. “Am _I_ part alien too!?” she gasps, nearly everyone at the table reacts in varying degrees, but Alura just laughs.

“I don’t have any relatives on this planet that I know of other than Kara and Kal.”

Lois shrugs. “Well, I’d get thrown in jail for punching too many people if I had super strength anyway. It’s probably a good thing.”

Clark closes his eyes and sighs.

…

…

Kara corners her in the bathroom later. Like mother, like daughter Lena supposes.

“I’m glad you came,” she says, fidgeting with her glasses.

Lena starts washing her hands. “Me too,” she says, only half honest.

“Listen, Lena, I want to explain and apologize for—”

“You don’t need to.”

“No, I _do,_ ” Kara insists. “I should have told—”

“Please Kara,” Lena interrupts again. “I don’t want to do this.” Kara’s face _falls_ and Lena curses a bit internally. It’s very hard to stay angry at that face. “I understand,” she adds. Kara looks confused and hurt so Lena turns the faucet off and grabs some paper towels. Drying off her hands, she turns to face Kara and meets her eye. “I was angry. A part of me still is, a bit, but I understand why it took you so long. I’ve had a lot of conversations with Alex and James and Winn and… sort of Lois—”

Kara frowns further in confusion, but Lena presses on.

“—I get it. There were things that I was keeping from you at the time, too. As you know. I didn’t fully trust you either, but I _wanted_ to.” Lena tosses the damp paper towels into the trash and waits for Kara to meet her eyes again. “I still want to,” she adds softly. “It’s been two years, let’s just… start fresh.”

“But — okay,” Kara says, a bit quiet.

“I don’t trust you not to lie to me right now,” Lena reiterates. “But I would like to be able to.”

Kara’s face grows steely and she steps closer towards Lena. “That goes both ways you know, the wanting to. I always — I always wanted to. In a really weird way, it’s why I didn’t tell you. I _am_ sorry though. I want to make sure you know that.”

“I do.”

“So… are we…”

Lena sticks her hand out. “Working towards being friends again.”

Kara looks down at her hand. “Can I hug you instead?” she asks, vulnerable. “Or, are we not there yet?”

Lena opens her arms and Kara sinks into them. She’s taller than Alex, and she’s been on a different planet for the last two years and they aren’t genetically related anyway—but she smells almost the same. It loosens something inside of Lena’s chest, and she holds Kara a little closer for a second before pushing her away. She’s smiling, full watt and bouncing, just a little. When Lena looks close enough, she realizes that actually, she’s hovering. Floating a few inches above the ground. A toilet from somewhere behind them flushes and Lena reaches up and yanks Kara down in a panic.

An elderly woman walks out, she smiles at them as she makes her way towards the sink. “Good luck girls,” she says, and then the two of them run out of the bathroom laughing, in sync again, for the moment.

…

…

Somewhere during dessert, Lena glances down at her phone and then cites a work emergency, grabbing her purse and the check and disappearing before Alex can do anything about it.

She had thought things were fine—Kara came back from the bathroom with her and they were both smiling, if slightly awkward with each other. Eliza and Alura were both taking turns grilling various combinations of Lena, Alex, Ollie, and Kara all night long, but Alex had thought that Lena was enjoying herself. Especially once Lois glanced at Alex over her head and winked way too weirdly at her, glancing back and forth between Alex and Lena until Clark had pinched her.  

Alex freezes, for a beat, and then both Kara and Lois reach over and smack her. Lois’s hurts more—Kara is already getting used to her powers again.

“Why are you—”

“Go _after her,”_ Kara hisses.

“Yeah!” Ollie cheers, “can I come too?”

“Not right now little man,” James says, nodding towards Alex.

So, _everyone_ knows then. Great. Ollie peers at Alex expectantly, and when Alex looks over at her mother, she is pressing her lips together and trying to hide laughter. Her eyes twinkle warmly and she jerks her head towards the door. It’s all the approval that Alex needs, she throws her napkin down onto the table and runs after Lena.

Alex glances around once she reaches the sidewalk, terrified that Lena has already gotten to her car and is gone. “LENA,” she hollers, and a dark head up ahead of her freezes with her hand on the car door. “Wait!” calls Alex, and she sprints towards her.

Lena turns around and watches Alex run towards her. She smiles, but it’s forced. Alex can see that her eyes are a little watery.

“I’m sorry Alex,” she says, her voice raw. “I really do need to get going but I’ll call you tomorrow,” she says. Almost as if to prove that everything is fine, she steps closer and moves to kiss Alex’s cheek. She’s done it probably a handful of times, at this point, but right now more than ever, all Alex can remember is that night in her hallway, well over a year ago, now. She still remembers what Lena’s mouth tastes like.

Alex turns her head, and Lena catches the corner of her mouth. She jerks in surprise, jumping back a bit with apologies on her tongue.

Here they are, trapped in this parking lot, forced to discuss their mutual—well, their mutual something. Alex chokes on a sputter of laughter, “Sorry,” she says, almost instinctually. Then, she pauses. “Actually, no I’m not.” She tries to explain the fear that had crept up her throat until she had choked, every time that she thought about how much Lena was growing to mean to her. How she’d never felt anything like it, how it had come _so close,_ with Maggie, but now that she sees _this_ , she realizes what she was missing, there. Lena stands there stiffly, her palms balled into fists and her eyes wide and Alex takes a deep breath and wills herself to stop rambling like Kara.

“I love you,” she says. She almost shouts it. Or at least that's how it feels, when it comes out, all loud and raw, like the words are burning her throat. It shakes the space between them. Alex’s whole body is trembling. “I have for a while,” she adds, quieter.

Lena’s body twitches and settles again, like she’s shouldering something she hadn’t expected would be that heavy. It’s lucky they’re standing in the empty parking lot, because her face is—Nothing about it has changed, exactly; nothing that Alex can point to, except to say it’s altered dramatically. Two seconds ago, she looked terrified and she still does now, but there’s something different in her eyes, a shock and an awe that has her sucking in a hot breath.

“You what?” she gasps.

 “I love you,” Alex says, doubling down. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck,_ maybe Kara was wrong. Maybe everyone was and Lena does feel this way at all.

But then—

“Oh thank _god,_ ” she breathes. “Me too,” and then she steps forward, pulling Alex’s face close and kissing the fuck out of her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnd we've reached the real end. this is total fluff. i hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as i have!
> 
> a few quick notes:
> 
> metropolis=chicago (i know sometimes it's NY and sometimes it's its own thing, for this it's chicago)  
> ueju=kryptonian for grandmother, or, something close to it.

_Six months later_

_…_

“Okay, so there are only two stats, basically—”

“WE’RE BEARS!” Ollie cheers and begins to do a victory dance, pumping his fists into the air and spinning around until he nearly falls over. Alura catches him—her reflexes are on par with Kara and Clark, now. Ollie grins up at her. “Ueju, we get to be _bears!”_

“Wonderful,” Alura smiles and uprights him. “Remind me which one is a bear?”

Ollie’s eyes go wide and he squeals. “Ueju, you don’t know what _bears are?_ ” Ollie scrambles up onto Alura’s back. “ _KARA!”_ he hollers. “You didn’t tell Ueju what bears are!?”

Kara comes out of the kitchen, where she had been helping Eliza, Lucy, and Winn with the food. “Yes, I did!” she protests.

Ollie whips his head back around to Alura. “Are you fooling?”

Alura smiles and kisses all over his face. “I just need some reminding. You're the perfect candidate.”

“Okay!” Ollie leaps out of her arms, scaring both of them but landing on his feet expertly. He tugs on Alura’s arms until she follows him, and for good measure, grabs Kara’s as they pass by. “Come on, you too.”

Alex turns as the trio walks over towards her childhood dining room table—currently full of character sheets, dice, and snacks. “Does Mom need help?” she asks Kara.

“No, Lucy and Winn are in there.”

“Mom,” Ollie stops in his tracks and Alura and Kara pause rather than slamming into him. “They need help being bears.”

Alex grins, pressing her lips together to stop herself from laughing at the serious look on his face. Kara is not holding it together as well. Alura reaches over and pinches her shoulder, just a bit.

“Ah,” Alex manages to say. “Well, you’re the best person for the job.”

“I am,” Ollie agrees seriously. “Come on!” he pushes them down into their seats. “You’ll have to sit by me so I can help. First, we’re going to growl.”

Alex quickly escapes into the living room before she bursts into laughter. Also, to get her phone and film Kara and Alura growling on Ollie’s instructions. She knocks into Lena on her way and immediately presses her face into Lena’s shoulder, laughing uncontrollably. “What?” she asks, smiling at Alex.

“Ollie,” is all Alex gets out.

“Ah,” Lena’s smile widens and she pats Alex’s head. “Yep. That will do it.”

“Bears, bears, bears, bears, bears, bears, bears,” James, Clark, and Jonathan start chanting as they walk into the hallway with Alex and Lena. Alex looks up from Lena’s shoulders and just stares at them. Clark and Jonathan are really getting into it, unabashed and silly and having a brilliant time. James is humoring them.

“BEARS, BEARS, BEARS!” Winn hollers from the kitchen.

“Jonathan, what did you do?” Martha’s voice echoes throughout the house.

“BEARS, BEARS, BEARS!” Ollie screeches happily.

Clark and James quiet down and walk into the living room to join Ollie, Kara, and Alura, and Jonathan walks over to Alex and Lena. He drops a hand on both their shoulders. “Annnd, my work here is done,” he grins.

“You know your wife is probably going to kill you,” Alex says. Lena smiles and remains quiet. She hasn’t spent much time with the Kents—this is only the second time she has met them—and being at their house clearly makes her feel a little strange. The night before, she confessed that she knows Lex spent some time there back when he was friends with Clark, and she wasn’t sure how they would react to another Luthor in their home after what happened to their son.

“They’re not like that,” Alex had said. “Well… Martha is a bit prickly. But she’s prickly in this whole, Mama Bear way. Once you’re in her circle, you’re in. She’s not big on judging people for what their family did, in my experience of knowing her. Plus, Clark really likes you now. Martha’s main goal in life is keeping her son happy, so. I think you’ll be fine.” She’d rolled over in bed, her fingers trailing up and down Lena’s arm. “Actually… now that I think about it, you two are a lot alike. She’s just the flannel wearing, southern drawl, poorer, older version of you.”

“What?” Lena had laughed.

“I dunno,” Alex mumbled and flopped over more until she was basically halfway on top of Lena. “Let’s stop talking about Clark’s parents,” she said and quickly got to work getting Lena’s shirt off.

Now, Jonathan just grins at them both. “Marty hasn’t killed me yet. If today is the day, then so be it. Tell the world I loved deep dish pizza.”

“Gross,” Lois says, coming up behind them and hanging on to them both. “Jonathan, I love you but you are very wrong. New York style is the way to go.”

“Agreed,” Alex says.

“Um, I actually like deep dish too,” Lena confesses. Alex and Lois grimace and pull away from her, but Jonathan lights up and cheers. He lunges forward and hugs Lena and slings an arm around his shoulder.

“Marty! The Luthor girl agrees with me on pizza! You’re wrong and you know it!”

“Oh,” Lena blanches… “I don’t—”

Jonathan tugs her into the living room. Lena throws a pleading look over her shoulder and Alex just blows her a kiss. Lois drops her head to Alex’s shoulder. “I can’t believe your girlfriend likes Metropolis style pizza,” she says. “That might make me rethink a relationship if I’m being honest.”

“You’d divorce Clark if he liked deep dish?”

“Clark is the rare bird that likes _both._ I suspect it’s because he always wants to please both his parents and refuses to be in longstanding arguments with them. Which is dumb. I love arguing with people.”

Alex laughs and follows Lois into the living room. “So,” she says. “Are you and Clark ever gonna get married for real? Or, you are married I guess. Are you ever going to have a ceremony or a party?”

“Are you and Lena?” Lois counters easily.

“We’ve been dating for _six months,_ ” Alex says. “You’ve been together for like sixteen years or something.”

“Seventeen in a few months.”

“So!?”

“We _are_ married,” Lois shrugs. “The courthouse signed it all legal like, ten years ago. I told you this while you were in college.”

“Yeah, but you never had a party or anything. Wasn’t Martha mad?”

“Yeah, she was. But, things with Lex were escalating and we didn’t want to give him a target, and then it just… seemed dumb,” she shrugs. “We’re married. I never gave a shit about the pomp and circumstance of it all. I kind of hate weddings.”

“But you don’t hate parties.”

“That I do not,” her grin turns wicked and dangerous and Alex braces herself. “Wanna have a joint wedding party?”

“No,” Alex says immediately. “We’ve been dating for _six months.”_

“And you’d been mooning over each other for like a solid year before that.”

“Lois… we’re in a good place. Ollie _just_ got the adoption finalized. I don’t actually care about the pomp and circumstance either.”

“Does Lena?”

Alex bites at her lip. “Not that she’s ever mentioned to me.”

“Okay,” Lois says easily. “Fair enough. Let’s go pretend to be bears.”

“Maybe you’ll actually be good at this for once,” Alex teases. “Being animals in RPGs is your specialty.”

“Hey now—”

“I can’t believe you were _actually_ just a horse. We thought you were a druid for _months._ ”

“And an excellent horse she was,” Clark says, coming up behind them and kissing her on the cheek. “Everyone’s ready.”

Alex slides down into her seat beside Lena and Kara. Kara gives her a growl and Ollie claps approvingly. Beside her, Lena rolls her eyes at their antics fondly. Alex has never been happier that the two of them are in a good place again. The first month or so that Kara was back things were awkward between them; they were both too careful with each other, afraid to do anything that would make Alex upset. Alex finally screamed at them both while in the middle of a crisis with the DEO, and the three of them hashed it out and have been fine ever since.

Alex doesn’t know what she’d do if her two favorite people couldn’t relax around each other.

Kara pokes at Alex’s side. “When we start up the new campaign next week I think I’m gonna be a tiefling,” she says, looking nervous.

“Really?” Alex raises her eyebrows in surprise. Kara has played once or twice before, with Clark. Like Clark, Alex knows that she has only ever played human characters. It’s a quirk they both share, a way to try and assert their place on a foreign planet, even in a fantasy game.

Kara nods, looking less excited a little more excited. Lena is listening in now too and she smiles at Kara.

“A purple one I think.”

“What class?” Lena laughs.

“Druid.”

“Be an actual druid,” Alex tells her. “Not a horse pretending to be a druid.”

“Cool it, Danvers,” Lois warns from across the table.

“I think that’s a great idea, Kara,” Lena says. Kara beams and squeezes Alex in a quick hug for no real reason, then turns to answer a question that Martha asked her.

Ollie leans around Kara and wiggles his eyebrows at Alex. “Mom, this is gonna be so much fun!” he declares.

Alex grins at him. “We’re gonna steal so much honey.”

“YESSS!” he cheers, knocking over his water glass with his elbow. “Whoops, sorry.”

Eliza snags it as she’s walking by, a cloth already in her hand. “Not a problem, it’s just water.”

“Thanks, Grandma.”

Clark claps his hands. “Okay, everyone who isn’t already sitting down, please go ahead and sit down now and I’ll go over the rules,” his Kentucky accent comes in thicker, in this house, while he’s near his parents. It suits him.

Clark begins explaining the rules to the Honey Heist, but Alex tunes him out. It’s a simple game: be bears, steal honey, have fun. Instead, she focuses on Lena’s hand, slowing rubbing circles on top of her knee as she listens to Clark intently. Alex watches Clark animatedly explaining the rules, growling for Ollie, and Lois staring at him fondly and joining in. Martha and Jonathan watching their son with bright eyes, happy to have opened their home to so many more people because of his connections. Eliza, next to Martha and J’onn, the three of them having a side conversation for the majority of the game, only occasionally pausing to roll some dice or growl in Ollie’s direction. Alura, happily helping Ollie with math and gamely roleplaying, fitting in with this group fantastically after some initial awkwardness figuring out her place on Earth.

Alex had been surprised at first when Alura had moved in with her mother. She spent the first two months or so living with Kara in her apartment and helping out at the DEO, but she and Eliza clicked after a while. The two of them bonding over science and their love of their daughters. After a moment of confusion, Alex was deeply happy that her mother wasn’t alone in that big old house anymore. And the look of pure joy on Kara’s face cemented this as a wonderful thing inside of Alex’s chest. Plus, Alura can fly Eliza over much faster than she can get there on a plane, and the two of them come over regularly now to have dinner on Saturdays.

Winn, James, and Lucy are fully into the roleplaying, even more so than Alura, Kara, and Ollie. The three of them decided to put on gangster accents, reminiscent of old Hollywood films, and they all have hats and fake cigars to help embellish the illusion.

“Oh,” Lucy says, looking down at her sheet. “Um, I’m all the way into Criminal.”

“Lucy!” Clark yells, laughing.

“Look! That honey looked _great,_ I went to some lengths that I’m not proud of.”

“Of course, you did,” Lois says from across the table.

Lucy sits up and looks over at Lois’s sheet. “You’re almost all the way into Criminal too!”

“Hey!” Lois covers her sheet. “No peeking!”

Lucy makes an attempt to grab Lois’s sheet out from underneath her arm and Lois pinches her. Alex shares a look with Kara. The two of them have always had a tenuous relationship. It’s gotten much better in the last few years, but… it’s still a barrage of bickering on most days.

“Girls,” Martha sighs. “If y’all want cookies later you’re gonna have to chill out in my dining room.”

Both of them sink down into their seats, chastised. Usually, Martha is the only one capable of getting the two of them to get along.

Lena moves closer to Alex and whispers, “What kind of cookies did she make?”

“Chocolate chip walnut,” Alex whispers back.

“Oh god,” Lena’s eyes go wide.

“Yeah, they’re _amazing._ ”

“I’M ALL THE WAY A BEAR!” Ollie hollers, jumping up so that he is standing on his chair, he releases an impressive growl, arms raised and hair falling into his face. Alura and Kara both reach up to steady him before he gets any ideas about jumping further up on to the table. Ollie turns to Lena and bares his teeth. “Mama look,” he growls again. “I win!”

“Um, that’s not how—” Clark sighs. “Never mind, he’s six,” he mutters. “OLLIE WINS!” he announces. James and Winn drum on top of the table and Lois stomps her feet and whistles.

“Good job sweetheart,” Lena says, smiling at him. “How about you be a winner on the floor?”

Ollie leaps off of the chair, Kara quickly launching herself to catch him, and then the two of them crawl around on the floor growling at everyone as Martha goes and dishes out cookies.

“We’ve created a monster,” Alex whispers into Lena’s ear, slinging her arm across her shoulders as everyone breaks off into mini-conversations.

“We’ve created a bear,” Lena counters.

“A Monster-Bear.”

“I’m not taking responsibility for that,” Lena whispers back. Her breath is hot on Alex’s ear, and it sends shivers throughout Alex’s body. A twinge of desire plucks at her belly, as distinct and painful as the snap of an elastic band against her skin. She turns and meets Lena’s eye and raises her eyebrows. Lena follows her out of the living room and outside. Eliza, J’onn, and Alura have congregated on the Kent’s porch. Alex takes Lena’s hand and tugs her out further, heading towards the barn. She knows that Clark has a loft up there with a great view.

Alex can hear Ollie and Kara still playing. From the sounds of things, Clark and Lois have joined in. She leads Lena up the barn steps and plops down on the couch Clark put up here. Lena sinks into her side and the two of them look out at the Kent’s fields, the sounds of their family behind them. Alex kisses Lena’s cheek. The love and the joy is so thick anyone could choke on it.

“This is really nice,” Lena says, soft.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees. “It is.”

Lena turns her face over and quirks her eyebrows up, then she’s quickly rearranged herself so that she is straddling Alex’s lap. “It could be nicer, though,” she says mischievously. Alex grins, tilting her head up as Lena bends down and kisses her, slipping slender fingers into Alex’s hair and tugging her forward until their lips collide; Alex murmuring into her mouth and tugging her closer, licking the roof of her mouth and rubbing the skin on Lena’s temples at the sound of her groan.

“You’re right,” Alex breathes in between kisses. “This is a lot nicer.”

Lena grins.


End file.
